Ten … twelve paces, and I was out into the full sunlight. My foot squelched inside the boot; my left trouser leg sagged, sodden with blood. I stared around as I hobbled on. Would Rawiri reappear? But there was only the hawk upriver, gliding above the swamp. Nobody would expect to see me until evening. I was going to die alone.

Thump went the axe head on the ground. Thump. I stumbled forwards, my ruined leg dragging and jarring at each step. I squeezed my eyes shut, blundered towards the water.

Chink! A different sound. ‘Aaahh!’ I howled again as the shock of the axe head hitting rock beat through me. I stared down, and I was onto the stones of the riverbed.

One step. Then another. I couldn’t stop. If I did, I might never be able to start again. I was losing blood all the time. I could see it dripping through the shirt, feel it sliding down into my boot. I took another step, and red drops sprinkled the rocks around. How long before I fainted, or was so weak, I couldn’t keep going?

The river was just ahead, sparkling along. How could I wade it and get up the bank? Screaming was no use. Jess and Lily would have gone back inside by now. If only we had a bridge. If only this damned war hadn’t taken men away, there would be a bridge, with trucks and wagons passing to help me. It was the war’s fault!

No, it wasn’t. I understood that again as I reeled over the stones. It was my own stupid temper, my being unable to choose. I had put myself in this plight, and only I could get myself out. I lifted my head again, shouted ‘Come on!’ Two ducks rose honking from the shallows nearby, and flapped off.

I floundered into the Waimoana. The water chilled my shuddering body. I stepped on an unseen rock, shrieked again as my left leg buckled sideways. Clouds of blood drifted away in the current.

My head was down, searching for any holes in the riverbed. If I fell, as Father had that time, I was done for. My strength was beginning to ebb. The pain surged through me with every lurching step. I was up to my knees; I must be halfway there. My voice still sobbed, but it felt further and further away. The bright day was growing dark at the edges. God, I’d never make it. Climbing the bank was impossible.

I had no choice. The words stood in my mind so clearly, it was as if I’d read them from Mr McDougall’s blackboard. If I didn’t get up the bank, I was dead. Even if I did get up … but I couldn’t think about that. Just fifteen minutes ago I’d been fretting over a different choice. It seemed so unimportant now.