I’ve decided to join a gym with a coworker because I think next time I’d like to help other people up the cliff instead of being helped myself.

Love,

Marissa, Day 1 without you

P.S. I think “love” is the right word. I wish I’d had the courage to use it when you could hear me say it.

***

“I’m so glad you’ve decided to resume our work. I’m also looking forward to hearing about your travels.” Dr. Kirkland quietly shut her door behind Linda, who moved comfortably across the office to the sunny window nook.

“Suddenly it was rather clear that there was more work to do.” She set her day pack at her feet as she oozed down into one of the two oversized chairs.

“Do you want to tell me about that?”

Linda grinned. “Yeah. That would be why I made the appointment.”

Dr. Kirkland smiled back. “I had to start somewhere, even if it was a silly question. So what happened?”

“Marissa happened.”

“You met someone special.”

“Yeah. Very. I noticed her right away in the lifeboat. She had this great sense of humor—”

“Lifeboat?” Dr. Kirkland shook her head. “I’m sorry I interrupted you, Linda, but I think you’ve left out something important.”

Laughter bubbled past Linda’s lips. “The cruise ship I was on sank in the middle of our first night out.”

“That’s sounds traumatic.”

“It wasn’t—see, that’s the thing. It wasn’t traumatic at all. Marissa and other people were looking to me to help. First, I could translate some of the Italian to English. And I’d read all those survivalist books the last time I was at that place, you know?” Dr. K nodded and Linda continued, “I felt very confident and competent and that was what Marissa seemed to need from me. I don’t think she really noticed what I looked like until after . . . she liked me.”

Dr. Kirkland nodded with an edge of excitement. “Yes, I can see how that would really feel good to you. That’s one of your bigger issues, not being certain why people are attracted to you as either friends or lovers.”

“Well, this was obviously not about how I looked, but what I could do. What I did. It was great. I’d never felt better. Marissa’s chunky and doesn’t work out so there was a cliff everyone had to climb and I didn’t think she could do it but I encouraged her and talked to her while she tried and dang!” Linda wanted to laugh just remembering how wonderful it had felt to watch Marissa succeed. “She needed a little push and I did a little pulling at the end but she did it. And laughed when it was over. I think I fell for her right then.”

Dr. Kirkland made a note on the left side of her tablet. Linda remembered notes made there would be shared at the end of the session. Notes on the right probably not. “So you spent time together and feelings emerged?”