“I’ll get Jean to ask her son. You like Darren, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t.”

“He’s a little quiet but he’ll be a lawyer some day, just like his father. You’re suited to each other, I guess.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m suited to a nerd?”

“Don’t be mean.”

“I’m not being mean, Mom. I’m a nerd. I like some nerds.”

“You are not a nerd. Don’t say that.”

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do, Mom.” Marissa gave another hard push with her legs, sobbing for air. She couldn’t control the shaking in her arms. Soon she was going to lose her grip and fall anyway. After all this work, that would be a shame.

I am a nerd, Marissa repeated to herself. I like talking to machines and working on my own. I like who I am, even though my mother hates every bit of me. She doesn’t even know I’m gay and she doesn’t like anything about me. Short of wearing pink and not putting out until some guy gave her a ring, nothing she ever did would make her mother happy.

You just figured out something important, she told herself. You need to remember that. But she had no energy to write a letter to herself at the moment.

She ought to tell her mother that after getting drunk at the prom, Darren hadn’t wanted to take no for an answer. She’d known what he was thinking. Fat girls appreciate any kind of attention. He hadn’t really believed her until she’d caught his hard penis in the zipper of his pants and then leaned on it with every ounce she could, watching him turn purple.

She was angry about that night, even all these years later. Angry at her mother for making her go and at Darren for touching her, trying to put her hand on his dick and sticking his tongue in her mouth.

“One more, come on,” Linda called.

She was angry at Linda but she supposed Linda didn’t deserve that.

What she was really angry about was having to climb this cliff while she had to pee, damn it. She didn’t know yet who she was angry with about all the Oreos she’d eaten in college but she’d find someone to blame.

“You can’t do this,” her mother whispered.

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do, Mom.”

“Come on, one more!” Linda looked anxious now.

Marissa realized as hard as she was stretching for it, she couldn’t quite reach that last handhold. Her other hand felt numb and suddenly there was air between her and the cliff face.

She looked up at Linda but breathing was more than she could manage. Talking was out of the question. The world went a kind of shivery yellow.

“Don’t you dare!” Linda shouted. “Don’t you even dare. Get your butt up here!”

She had no breath to say, “I can’t.” Then she felt a hand brushing up her thigh, then pushing on her butt. She had no breath to scream, “Don’t touch me!”