Let me just preface by saying: yes, kids played stickball all the time. So, if I were a logic-minded person, I would probably say that there’s nothing unusual about Lillian’s stickball photo happening to match a stickball-related anecdote of Kenneth’s. Except that Kenneth was not remembering just any kid. He was specifically remembering a girl in braids and a Dodgers hat. In Lillian’s photo, the head with its braids and hat are all that’s visible, since the arms are one big blur. Stillness plus blur equals beautiful, but what makes the picture singularly excellent is the girl’s expression. That face is not something we’re supposed to see yet. It’s a look of total seriousness and concentration, as if, instead of swinging a broom handle, that girl is actually in the middle of removing a tumor from the most delicate part of someone’s brain. Her face at that moment is offering a glimpse of the future person she will become, which, considering the odds, is probably not a neurosurgeon. So picture that face on the future version of that girl while removing a splinter from her own child’s index finger, or pondering the point in her life when things began to go wrong.

Probably Lillian wasn’t going for anything other than the face, but it’s possible she also saw what Kenneth saw. For a few years, it seems a future did exist that could have included a version of me in a Dodgers hat and braids, running bases outside that front window. For a few years the three of us—Kenneth, Lillian, and I—were happy.

KENNETH LOWELL: When I first started seeing Lil, Sam was a baby who mostly slept and ate. It was easy not to think about her much, or at least to think about her the way I would think about someone’s puppy. But eventually Sam started saying “mama” and “ball.” Not long after that she said “Ken.” I suppose this would have sent other men running for the door, but on me it had the opposite effect. I realized I could stop being so cautious. I had loved Lil the moment I saw her, but I knew this wasn’t mutual. Certainly Lil liked me. It is even fair to say she loved me in her fashion after not too long, but her feelings were slower and more deliberate. This is why I persisted in being careful—that is, until Sam spoke my name and I realized we were not two but three.