Tears filled her eyes. Whatever had she done to deserve this kind, wonderful man? Hearing that he’d ditched an important campaign event to spend the evening with her filled Sam with guilt over what she’d kept from him, and she knew she had to level with him.

“I did something today. Something I should’ve talked to you about before I did it.” The words were out before she could stop them—so much for her short-lived plan to wait until their honeymoon to talk to him about this.

Under her, his body went rigid. “What?”

“I saw Harry.”

“About?”

She lifted her head off his shoulder so she could see his face. “Birth control.”

His expression was so impassive that Sam couldn’t get a read on what he was thinking. “And?”

“He gave me a shot that lasts three months.”

Nick didn’t say anything for the longest time. “Oh,” he finally said. “I thought you wanted, I mean, I thought we wanted…”

“I do. We do. But I need to be stronger before we go there again. I was feeling desperate, and I went to him before I came to you, which was wrong. I know it was. I just… I need some time, Nick.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t understand that?”

“I was afraid you’d be disappointed, and I couldn’t bear that. Not again.”

“Sam, honey, when are you ever going to learn that you can’t possibly disappoint me? The only time you even come close is when you keep stuff from me. Important stuff that we should decide together.” The last part he said in a stern tone that got her attention, but when she ventured a glance at him, he was looking at her with nothing but love and concern.

“I’m working on that. I swear I am.”

He sighed, hugged her tighter and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through with four miscarriages. One about killed me.”

Hearing that and seeing the raw pain on his face made Sam wince. “Sometimes I wonder if it just isn’t in the cards for me.”

“If that’s the case, we have other options, and I’ve told you before I’m fine with adopting or hiring a surrogate. Whatever you want. We’ll figure it out when we’re ready.”

“I’m not sure I have it in me to try again.”

“Nothing has to be decided today.”

Sam took a moment, chose her words carefully and fought to keep her emotions out of the mix. “I want you to really understand, before you say ‘I do’ on Saturday, that it’s very possible I won’t want to try again to have a baby.”

“You might feel differently—”

Sam rested a finger over his lips. “And I might not. I need to know you’re okay with that. Discovering the plumbing actually works changes everything.”