“I was,” he said with a sigh. “I was doing a really good job of convincing myself, despite what I saw yesterday, that he was in Richmond or at the farm. But after that, after seeing him like that…”

“Denial’s not an option any more.”

“No.”

Soft words and sounds of weeping drifted from the conference room.

“I’ve never before felt like I didn’t belong with them. Not once in all the years I’ve known them, have I ever felt I didn’t belong…until in there…just now…” His voice caught, and he was surprised when her hand landed on his arm.

“They love you, Nick. Anyone can see that.”

“John was my link to them. That’s gone now.” His head ached, his eyes burned. Hating the uncharacteristic bout of self-pity but needing her more than he’d needed anyone in a long time, he sighed. “He’s gone…my job…everything.”

Sam squeezed his arm and then removed her hand abruptly when Freddie came around the corner.

Seeming to sense he was interrupting something, Freddie paused and looked to her for guidance.

“They needed a minute after seeing him,” she said. “Could you do me a favor and find Mr. Cappuano some water?”

“That’s not necessary,” Nick protested.

A nod from Sam sent Freddie off.

“You didn’t have to—”

“It’s water, Nick.”

“Thank you.” He glanced over at her. “How’re you holding up?”

“I’m tired.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Something else.”

She cast her eyes down at the floor and kicked at the tile with the pointed toe of her fashionable black boot. “I’m pissed. Seeing those people,” she nodded toward the conference room. “Others like them. Something like this happens to them and their lives are permanently altered. That bothers me. A lot.”

“You care. That’s what makes you such a good cop.”

“I don’t know too many who’d call me a good cop lately.”

Taking her hand, he saw that he’d startled her with his public display of affection. “There’s no one else I’d rather have on John’s case. No one.” He surprised her further when he kissed the back of her hand and released it.

Before Sam could chew him out for the risky PDA, Freddie returned with a cold bottle of water for Nick.

“Thank you.”

“May I have a word, Sergeant?” Freddie said.

“Of course,” Sam said. To Nick, she added, “Tell them we’ll be right in.”

Sam followed Freddie into the conference room across the hall and closed the door. “I know what you’re going to say, and it’s not what you think.”

“Guilty conscience, Sergeant?”

Since his question was accompanied by a teasing smile she didn’t remind him that she outranked him by a mile and an insubordination complaint wouldn’t look good on his record. “Not at all.”

“The financials came back on all the principal players.”

“And?”