“As a tourist, boss, and I hated it. The first was when I was in school and the second was to impress a girl. I didn’t get good grades in astronomy and I didn’t get the girl.”

“This time you’ll be just like a tourist with extra duties. You’ll go with a partner who will fly the shuttle, dock with the Ragtime and help with protocol.”

“Protocol,” says Fin.

“You’re not good with protocol,” says Unwin.

“Shouldn’t this be a government thing? Don’t they have departments for this?” says Fin. “This isn’t our… my department. I have to wonder why they’re entrusting something like this to a private company.”

“Optics. Nobody in government wants to be responsible for releasing a plague on the colony. Better if ‘rogue contractors’ can be blamed. You wanted to get back into investigations, right? To repatriations? This is how. You solve this, you get full reinstatement, back pay and exoneration.”

I can’t be exonerated when I’m guilty, thinks Fin. But getting his job back…

“You’re sending me because if I make a mess, you can say it’s because I’ve been away for a year,” says Fin. “And I’m already tainted.”

Unwin raises his eyebrows. “They do say after some years detectives become paranoid.”

“But is it true?”

Unwin nods.

“I can’t just go into space. My mum—”

“Don’t be absurd.”

“How much time do I have before—”

“Call your mother because you are not going home. You need training and there isn’t much time.”

In the spaceport, the first thing Fin notices are the rows of space shuttles that are poised to get passengers from the Ragtime. They run engine tests in series to maintain readiness.

For the next few days someone follows him about with a clipboard, testing his limits. They are used to younger postulants, and while Fin isn’t significantly older, he is more tired, more depleted.

He tries, he pushes his body further than he has ever done, and he does want this. Nothing is more important than getting his job back because he doesn’t know what he will do otherwise. He has stared into a gun muzzle a few times over the last year, and not to run a cleaning rod through or check the performance of his printer. Without challenge, his brain has gone to mush, his equipment, like his clothes, out of date.

He does not bond with his trainer. He wants to see her as an enemy to be defeated rather than a guide with the same objective. He knows this is unhelpful, but he can’t help himself.

Dear Respected One,

I know how you must feel about me, and it can’t be worse than I feel about myself.

It wasn’t my fault.

No. Too whiny, not taking responsibility. He is responsible and it was his fault.

Time to rejoin the training.