And so once you spot that, the option comes up to travel to St. James. And you get on the next flight out from where you’re staying in France, and you rush to your old house, and you burst into the basement while my dad is in the middle of recording one of those videos, or like, maybe you burst into my old room as my dad is starting to load the shotgun, and you scream out: DAD! Or something. And you rush up to him and you give him a hug and you say: Stop! Stop. I’m here now. It’s all gonna be okay.

Or maybe you’ve brought your guitar with you, you know—in the video game, there’s an option to start taking the lessons earlier—and so you burst into the room and my dad is looking at you, like, completely shocked and surprised that you found him, and you just take out the guitar and you start playing the chords for the song that he sent you. And he gets out his guitar and he plays along with you. And the two of you, like, right there in the old house in St. James, start making music together again, you know? You decide to work together again on the next album—just a father, a son, and their guitars.

I don’t know.

I have to think a little more about it.

I don’t want it to feel lame or whatever.

#17—Bottom of my left foot. This is the logo from The Midnight Gang. I was on the show a few years ago with Deez and Skelet0r—I think we must have been promoting b00mbuck$, Deez’s album—and we played this game of charades where, like, if the hosts of the show lost, they’d have to get the name of the album tattooed somewhere on their bodies, and if we lost, we’d have to get the show’s logo tattooed somewhere on our bodies. And, obviously, we lost. Skelet0r sucks at charades. LOL.

#96—Right bicep. This is a little EKG machine showing a regular heartbeat. When Amelia was born, she had this heart condition—I forget what it was exactly, but it was super-serious—and they had to have her on a machine for a few weeks before Patrick and Gloria could even take her home, and so Patrick was freaking out and losing his mind during that whole time. She’s fine now, but on the day they finally released her from the hospital with a working heart, I decided to go get this tat just to show Patrick and Gloria that I was thinking about them.

#87—Right shoulder. This is a camera and a boom mic, and I got it the week they started filming The Winstocks.

I actually don’t want to talk about it too much here, because I kind of think that’s gross—like, I don’t really want this to seem like a cross-promotional sort of thing, and if you’re reading this, you’ve probably already decided that you’re gonna watch the show when it drops—but I guess I just feel like I should mention it, since this is the “story of my life,” and it’d be weird if I left it out.