It’s ridiculous, because like, obviously, there are a ton of different cemeteries in L.A. where the view is completely blocked off from the public, but my dad specifically said in his will that he wanted to be buried at this one particular place where like, there’s a clear view from the street. And, I mean, honestly, it’s insane that he even wanted to be buried in L.A. in the first place, because you have no idea how much it costs to have a body transported that far—especially one with its head blown off. I mean, I could afford it, I’m not complaining, but it still just felt like a dick move.

Mandy came with me. Mandy’s mom too. We all hung out a lot when Mandy and I were coming up in the scene together, so I guess they both wanted to pay their respects. Kelly is actually a really dope person. I’m not sure if she’ll read this, but if she does, I hope she knows how much I love and respect her. She’s the best.

Of course, everybody saw Mandy and me standing next to each other in the photos, and they were immediately like: Are the two of you back together? For a couple weeks after the funeral, there was all this speculation about whether the two of us had started things up again, and the truth is she was really just there as my friend. I just really needed her.

My mom and Bob didn’t come to the funeral. I’m sure my dad would’ve wanted them to, but my mom just had a newborn baby, and she wasn’t about to get a sitter. Plus, you know, she definitely wasn’t going to bring the baby with her to the funeral. She knew, even before it happened, exactly what kind of event it was going to be—my dad literally couldn’t surprise her at this point—so I honestly just don’t think she could stand to be a part of it anymore.

Sometimes, when I think about my mom’s life, I just think about it as this thing that’s been completely defined by men. Like, whether it’s my dad or Bob or me, my mom is always getting caught up in some dude’s life, like, being defined in relationship to some man she loves. And sometimes, it feels like all she does is just answer for her men and apologize for us and deal with the consequences of our actions. Which is why I’m really stoked that she’s got her jewelry line now, because like, that’s something she actually really cares about for herself. I think it’s really allowed her to shine in a way that she hasn’t been able to before. I mean, she’s always been making jewelry—like, even back when she was a dental assistant, she would be tinkering around with beads in the living room at night or making little Christmas presents for my aunts and my cousins—but now, like, she’s able to do it on a bigger scale with some nicer materials, and so her creativity has just been able to flow. Bob’s been so supportive of it too, which is dope. He doesn’t just sort of go like: Oh wow, that’s amazing! Good work, honey! He actually critiques it and helps her out with business concepts and talks through the ideas with her. That’s what I mean when I say people don’t know Bob. He’s such a sweetie when it comes down to it. I wish people could see that.