Erin thought she must be having déjà   vu when Blair’s comforting voice whispered in her ear just like she had earlier. When Erin was finally able to crack her eyes open, she noticed it was now pitch black outside. Shit. How long had she been sleeping? She searched the room but couldn’t find Nolan anywhere. Her heart raced as she tried to figure out what was going on.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Blair said soothingly. “Nolan is in bed. He’s been asleep for almost an hour at this point.”

“What… what time is it?” Erin felt around for her phone but couldn’t find it.

“It’s 9:00. Nolan was really drained so we started his bedtime routine a little earlier than we usually do. Of course, he suckered me into reading him more books than I could count, but that’s okay. He was super sweet and kissed my cheek after I finished each one.”

Blair had a dreamy look on her face, but all Erin could focus on was her use of the word we. She said ‘we  usually do’ when referring to Nolan’s bedtime. Sure, Blair had been at their house for his bedtime more times than she hadn’t been there these past few weeks, but when she put it like that, it really felt like they were a team. Which they could be if Erin could get her head out of her own ass. She knew that she was the only one holding herself back from the happiness Blair could provide her, but the fact that Erin’s happiness was ripped away from her once before still scared the shit out of her.

Blair ran her fingers over Erin’s cheek. “I didn’t want to wake you, but I also figured you didn’t want to lie on the couch all night.”

“Definitely not. My back appreciates the wake up.”

Blair laughed and kissed Erin’s cheek. “I can actually sleep anywhere.” She pointed toward the kitchen. “I could fall asleep on that table and still get a good night’s sleep. It’s strange.”

Except, it wasn’t strange. Before she turned thirty, Erin was a lot like that too. Blair was a long way from thirty. That reminder made Erin feel sick to her stomach. It wasn’t that she minded their age difference. Most of the time she honestly didn’t even notice it, but Blair being so young meant that she really didn’t have a full understanding of what she was getting herself into. That wasn’t worth dwelling on right now though. She could worry about that on a day when it didn’t feel like someone was rubbing sandpaper over her throat.

“I guess we can’t all be that lucky,” Erin said with a forced laugh. “So, I better head up.”