“I couldn’t get my bearings. The water kept heaving me around, sucking me down. It was so black, the searchlight barely cut through. There I was, drowning, and I couldn’t even remember what I was doing. It was blind luck that I found the mast. She was all tangled up in the line. I don’t know how many times we went under while I was trying to get her loose. My hands were numb, and I was working blind. Then I had her, and I managed to get the flotation on her. They said I got the tow line secured, but I don’t remember. I just remember hanging on to her and waiting for the next wave to finish us off. Next thing, I was waking up in the infirmary. The kid was sitting there, wrapped in a blanket and holding my hand.” He smiled. It helped to think about that part. Just that part. “She was one tough little monkey. A damn admiral’s granddaughter.”

“You saved her life.”

“Maybe. For the first couple of months, I jumped off that deck every time I closed my eyes. Now it’s only once or twice a year. It still scares the breath out of me.”

“I didn’t think you were scared of anything.”

“I’m scared of plenty,” Zack said quietly as he met his brother’s eyes. “For a while I was scared I wouldn’t be able to stand on deck and look out at the water again. I was scared to come back here, knowing that once I did, my whole life was going to change. And I’m scared of ending up like the old man, sick and feeble and used up. I guess I’m scared you’re going to walk out that door in a few weeks, feeling the same about me you did when you walked in.”

Nick broke the gaze first, staring over Zack’s shoulder at the shadowy wall. “I don’t know how I feel. You came back because you had to. I stayed because there was no place else to go.”

There was no arguing with the truth. As far as Zack could see, Nick had summed it up perfectly. “We never had much of a shot before.”

“You didn’t hang around very long.”

“I couldn’t get along with the old man—”

“You were the only one he cared about,” Nick blurted out. “Every day I’d have to hear about how great you were, how you were making something out of yourself. What a hero you were. And how I was nothing.” He caught himself, swallowed the need. “But that’s cool. You were his blood, and I was just something that got dumped on him when my mother died.”