Hoping her own culpability would lighten Nick’s load, even if it got her thrown off the case, Rachel explained. Beckett said nothing, only nodding or making interested noises now and again. “And when he walked into the office and saw Zack and me together,” she concluded, “all he saw was betrayal. I know I had no right to become involved with Zack. Excuses don’t cut it.”

“Rachel, you’re an excellent attorney. That doesn’t preclude your having a private life.”

“When it endangers my relationship with a client—”

“Don’t interrupt. I’ll grant that you may have exercised poor judgment in this instance. I’ll also grant that one can’t always choose the time, place or circumstances for falling in love.”

“I didn’t say I was in love.”

Beckett smiled. “I noticed that. It’s easier to beat yourself up about it if you tell yourself love had nothing to do with it.” Her smile widened. “No rebuttal, Counselor? Just as well, because I haven’t finished. I could tell you you’ve lost your objectivity, but you already know that. I, for one, am not entirely sure objectivity is always the answer. There are so many shades between right and wrong. Finding the one that fits is something we struggle with every day. Your client is trying to find his. You may not be able to help.”

“I don’t want to let him down.”

“Better you should do what’s possible to prevent him from letting himself down. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. You’ll discover how often it doesn’t when it’s your turn to sit on the bench.”

The understanding in Beckett’s eyes had Rachel reaching for her wine again. “I didn’t know I was that transparent.”

“Oh, to one who’s been there, certainly.” Amused, Beckett tapped her glass against Rachel’s. “A few more years of seasoning, Counselor, and you’ll make quite a competent judge. That is what you want?”

“Yes.” She met Beckett’s eyes levelly. “That’s exactly what I want.”

“Good. Now, since I’ve had a drink and I’m feeling rather mellow, I’ll tell you something—off the record. It was almost thirty years ago that I was you. So very close to who and what you are. Things were more difficult for women in our position than they are now. They’re far from perfect now,” she added, setting her glass aside, “but some of the battles are over. I had to make choices. Those professional-versus-personal choices that men rarely have to make. Do I have a family or do I have a career? I don’t regret choosing my career.”