Kelly snorted. “I lost my health. I lost my husband. I lost my daughter. I stopped the most dangerous killer of recent time and I was reprimanded by my superiors. And you say I’m lucky?”

He looked at her with his big wise eyes. “Does it help to feel sorry for yourself?”

“Yes! I want to feel sorry for myself. I fucking feel like I deserve to feel sorry for myself. You got a problem with that?”

“No.”

“Then fuck you, what are you saying?”

Charlie got a tear in his eye. “I’m just happy you didn’t die.”

She patted his arm. “I couldn’t have made it through all this without you.”

“I didn’t do shit … I mean, I didn’t do anything for you.”

“Right. Like you didn’t visit every day for hours.”

“That was nothing.” He added, “I love you.”

She smiled weakly. “Do you? Did you love me even when I stank?”

“You didn’t stink.”

“Yes, I did. Every time you came to the hospital or the apartment, you wrinkled your nose. I didn’t blame you. Tony didn’t like the smell either. He kept his distance. I guess colostomies aren’t sexy. What do you think? Is that why People wasn’t interested in interviewing me?”

“If People knew what you did, they would have put you on the cover.”

“That’s the rub, though, no one knows.”

Charlie was serious. “It doesn’t matter. Fame is for phonies. You did the job and you stopped him. No one could ask any more of you.”

“I fucked up is what I did.”

He nodded. “You did that as well and you paid the price. But you’ve got to let it go, that’s what life is about. Throw the pain in the river and let God take it away.”

“Do you believe in God?”

He shrugged. “No one knows if there’s a God except God, and He’s not talking. But I do know human beings weren’t designed just for good times. Happiness can make us feel big and sure of ourselves, but only pain gives us depth.”

“You sound like a New Age seminar.”

“Whatever. You’ve got to let it go.”

She was suddenly close to tears. “I don’t want to let him go. I love him, and he’s in love with another woman.”

“You don’t know that for sure. She might just be temporary.”

“Oh, that makes me feel a lot better. He dumped me for someone he doesn’t even care about.”

“Kelly …” he began.