“Because I adored you. You were the opposite of David. You cared about me in a healthy way. You wanted what was best for me. You wanted me to grow as a person—you helped me grow. You didn’t feel you had to possess me. You trusted me, and yes, I know I betrayed that trust. But please believe me, Matt, that was the last thing I wanted to do. When David returned to live here, I was terrified. I made a vow to myself not to see him. But he kept catling—he wore me down—and finally I felt I had to face him to free myself of him.”

“Amy, you didn’t just face him. You fucked him.”

“It wasn’t that way. I felt I had to get free of him if I was to be with you.”

“But we were so close. We shared everything. You could have told me.”

“I wanted to spare you the pain. I told you that before. What if you knew he was in town? What if you knew I was seeing him? You would never have been able to rest. I thought that I could see him a few times and get over him and put it all behind me.”

“You didn’t want me to know because you knew I’d dump you.”

“True! What’s wrong with being afraid of that? I know you’ll never believe this after what I did to you, but I was in love with you. I didn’t want to lose you. The thought terrified me.”

“But if I was the one you loved—and you were simply trying to get over David—why was I the one you dumped when I caught you with him?”

“How could I go back to you after what I had done to you?”

“But I would have taken you back. I told you that two days after I caught you with him.”

She lowered her head. “I had to free myself of the hold he had on me. I couldn’t be with you until I was free.”

“Free yourself? Christ, you married him.”

“I was pregnant!”

“With my kid!”

“I didn’t know that at that time! I thought it was his!”

“No. You suspected it was mine.”

“Gimme a break. Who the hell gets pregnant fooling around the way we did? I was sure it was his. Only when Jimmy was born did I begin to think he was yours.”

“It’s no excuse. You didn’t have to marry him. But you did and you still won’t admit why. The reason is so old it’s boring. He was rich and I wasn’t. You married him for his money, nothing else.”