‘And?’

‘I mean, does it mean anything today, ten or eleven years on?’

‘What happened then wasn’t very pretty, Jakob. Five grown men who—’371

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about, Varg. You’ve never performed on stage with a pack of howling young girls in front of you, worked yourself slowly into a frenzy, worked them up – and then the curtain falls, the stage is in darkness and everyone’s crowding around the exits. You had to have a release. There was always someone waiting and wanting to join the party with the band. You always got a trick, a hole to empty your shit in, a cold arse in the morning. But then, suddenly, we were on our way down. Of course, we felt it. The young girls were gone. New bands had the wind in their sails. We got a new type of audience – girls like Gro and Kari, who had always followed us; our own, if I can put it like that. And they had to go home to a husband and children. Fewer and fewer girls hung around the stage after the gig was over. More often than not we’d party on our own. And it was one of those days. The one in question.’

‘No one was waiting for you?’ I said with biting sarcasm.

‘No.’ He swallowed. ‘So we went back to Johnny’s to drink. Arild had some shit with him. Some pills. Harry smoked hash, passed it round. The atmosphere was a bit weird, if you know what I mean. Like finding yourself in the middle of a whirlwind. The room was spinning. The music was on full blast. The cloud level from the joints was low, and in the middle of all this chaos I remember as clearly as I can see him in front of me now … Johnny.’

‘Yes?’

‘Like a panther, you know. Ready to pounce, a wild look in his eyes and his hands down by his bollocks, as if he was about to … Then he jumped up. “No,” he said. “I can’t stand this any longer. I need a woman.” And then he went out and everyone laughed and guffawed. Of course we thought he was going to the loo.’372

I could feel the muscles in my lips beginning to vibrate, to twitch violently. ‘But he wasn’t?’

‘No, because he was gone for a long time. And when he returned he looked satiated and happy, and then he said, looking around: “Anyone else want some?” It took us a while to click and by then we were so high, all of us, that I think … Afterwards not one of us wanted to accept we’d understood what was about to happen … The feeling was so strong we couldn’t look each other in the eye. That blew the band sky high, Varg … that’s how strong it was.’

‘I can understand that. But what we’re talking about here is…’

‘Well … Harry went with Johnny first, grinning like a fool – Harpo Marx from Verftet. The rest of us sat waiting in a growing void – like it is, you know, inside a whirlwind. Harry and Johnny came back, Harry beaming: ‘It’s true, boys … great bang. Arild went in, Jan Petter and in the end…’