“Reece wants to move past that night,” I announced to the silent room. Of course, Charlie knew everything that had and had not gone down that night. “He cleared up the whole regret thing, which”—­I laughed—­“would’ve solved a lot of problems if he’d just, you know, said that back then. Clarified it a little. And he doesn’t want to be just friends with me. He pretty much stated that clearly. He said . . . he said he was worth my time.”

I imagined Charlie agreeing with that.

Shuffling back over to the chair, I plopped down. “He didn’t say he wanted to be my boyfriend or that he wanted to date me. Our conversation really didn’t get that far, but he came into Mona’s Wednesday night and we talked like we used to. He flirted with me.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and propped my chin on them. Closing my eyes, I let out another sigh. “I haven’t told him what really happened. You know how he hates lies of any kind, and really, when was I supposed to tell him that? Hey, I know you thought you got some, but you didn’t. So long has passed that it’s hard to even go there.”

Charlie said nothing, but I knew if he could talk, he would’ve understood where I was coming from. Eleven months of miscommunication wasn’t as easy as anyone would think to fix, but even understanding that, he would—­if he could—­tell me that I needed to fess up.

The one-­sided conversation went on for a while and then I picked up New Moon, spending the rest of the time reading to him. When it was time for me to leave, I tucked the worn book back inside my tote and stood.

Charlie was the only person outside of my family that I truly loved and going through what I’ve gone through with him . . . well, the idea of loving someone as much as I loved Charlie and experiencing this kind of pain again terrified me.

Hell.

If I was being honest with myself, it was probably why I had such shit taste in guys I dated. None of them were long-­term material. None of them were dangerous to my heart, none except Reece, and he’s always been obtainable. Even if he wanted to knock boots with me, once he found out that I lied, that would be the end of that. So, in a way, he was a safe choice. Someone I could lust and dream over, but always knew would slip out of my grasp before I fell hard.

I couldn’t pull my eyes from Charlie as I stood silently by his side. Shadows were deeper under his eyes and cheekbones. In a week, he seemed frailer and gaunt. The hair along his temples appeared thinner.

Guilt churned my stomach, and I couldn’t help but think he wouldn’t be in this position if I had . . . if I had kept my mouth shut that night. Simply just walked away from Henry Williams and his friends. If I hadn’t been goaded by his crude remarks. I hadn’t picked up that rock and I hadn’t been the one who’d thrown it, but in a way, I had played my part.