This was what he hadn’t shared with me the night on the balcony, how bad the guilt and the anger had really gotten for him. Oh my God, I didn’t want to hear this as terrible as it sounded. I didn’t want to even think of him being in that kind of pain. It slaughtered me.

“But Jax got me to talk about it. He got me to take the damn counseling the department required I take seriously. And you’re right. I still don’t deal all that well with it, but at least I’m fucking trying. I’m not pushing you away. I’m trying to deal. But you haven’t tried once, not in six years.”

Unable to stand to hear any of this, I tried again to pull free, but he wasn’t letting me get anywhere.

“You’re going to college for a degree you don’t want, because you’re too afraid to admit and accept that you like working at Mona’s. Not because you don’t have any drive, but because it gives you time to do what you love—­paint. But you won’t even take that risk. You’ll continue on, just to stay safe. To not take any risks.”

“Shut up,” I seethed, wishing I never told him about how much I hated taking those classes. It was a good thing he was still holding my wrists, because I probably would’ve smacked him upside the head.

“Yeah, the truth is a fucking bitch, right?” His eyes glinted. “What I don’t understand is how what happened with Charlie made you so afraid to do anything, but you want to know what I do know?” His eyes flashed blue fire. “I love you, Roxy. Charlie’s death isn’t going to change that. This isn’t going to change that. And I know you feel the same way.”

He—­he what?

He—­he said I feel what?

Yep, it was time for me to roll on out of here. Using all my strength, I jerked away from him, which got me nowhere.

“Roxy, stop it,” he commanded.

Frustration rose sharply but so did something else. We were pressed together in all the places that matter, and despite the fact I was trying to leave him and we were arguing, the longer I sat on him, the more I could feel him hardening underneath me, and my blood was simmering from the contact.

And he said he loved me.

I twisted in his lap, which only succeeded in me grinding down on him. The red-­hot sensation licked through me, and I saw the exact moment he felt the same thing I did.

His features tightened. “Jesus . . .”