“Oh for the love of God.” I threw up my hands. “Someone broke into my apartment in the middle of the night and took a picture of me while I was sleeping and I’m probably being stalked. That’s why I’m here!”

Both of my parents stared at me.

“Nice way to break that to them,” Reece said dryly under his breath.

Dad turned to me, letting the door swing shut with a slam behind him. “What?”

I wanted to throw myself down on the porch and flail like a toddler having an epic meltdown.

Reece placed his hand on my lower back. “Why don’t we head inside and talk? We’ll tell you guys what’s been happening.”

And that’s what we did, except before we could get the story out, Gordon and his wife, who were in the kitchen making meatballs, assumed that Reece and I were moving in together tomorrow, getting married next week, and popping out a baby before Megan was even due.

Megan was sitting at the oak table, my brother standing near the island. I had no idea how they were working together like that. Gordon had the meat. Megan had the eggs and the bread. There was a good five feet or so between the island and the table. Trying to figure it out made my brain hurt.

My brother was stocky like my dad and he inherited the crappy vision from our mom. However, his wire-­frame glasses seemed to never slip down his nose like mine. Gordon grinned in a way that told me he was about to say something that was going to embarrass me. “Did you know she’s had a crush on you since she was fifteen?”

“Honey,” said Megan, shaking her head.

Reece smiled. “Oh, I know.”

“Everybody knew,” Gordon tacked on. “I’m pretty sure she sketched a picture of you on the wall in her bedroom, and Dad had to paint—­”

“Gordon! Shut up!” I screeched.

Dad entered the kitchen. “Yeah, Gordon, shut up. Someone has been messing with your baby sister.”

Gordon lifted hamburger-­covered hands from the bowl and his look turned serious in a nanosecond. “What?”

I plopped down at the table, across from Megan, figuring I needed to sit through this conversation. Between Reece and me, we told them everything. Well, almost everything. I left out the undies in the dishwasher thing, because seriously, I didn’t need to share that with my parents, and I also didn’t tell them about the wild monkey sex for obvious reasons.

As expected, my mom freaked out and then got angry, really angry. “How dare someone do this to my daughter!” She slammed her fist on the table, rattling the little bowls of food, and then twisted toward Gordon. “You still got that shotgun? Wait.” She held up a hand, glancing at Reece. “Earmuffs, boy. Because I’m about to suggest some laws be broken.”