He slowly settled on to a felled tree trunk that had been dragged close to the hearth, positioning himself upon her left. ‘I do,’ he said in a low voice. ‘That I ever turned away. That I was foolish enough to think it meant little. A time away from the fighting and the madness. Those damned Forulkan blathering on about justice, even as they bled out on the ground. When I left you, I left something of me behind.’ He hesitated, and then said, ‘When I went back to find it…’ He shook his head. ‘A loss that can never be recovered, never redressed.’

Pelk studied him, and then said, ‘Broken heart, Ivis. Heal it might, but the scar remains, and what you miss most is how it was before it broke, when that heart was whole. So, yes, you can’t get that back.’

‘Then you went and almost died.’

‘I got careless. Wounded people do.’

Ivis put his hands up to his face.

She thought to reach out to him, a touch, offering him the gentle weight of her hand on his shoulder. Instead, she edged both hands closer to the flickering flames and the harsh heat. ‘Best forget all of that,’ she said. ‘It was a long time ago. You weren’t the only fool, you know.’

He looked up with reddened eyes. ‘And now?’

‘I’ve found another.’

‘Ah.’

‘Kellaras.’

‘Yes… a good man. Honourable.’

‘You?’

‘No. No one. Well… no. I always look higher than my station. It’s my own private dance with inevitable disappointment. Someone beyond reach remains forever pure, unsullied. There is that, at least.’

She levelled her gaze on him. ‘You stupid fucking fool, Ivis.’

He pulled back as if she’d struck him across the face.

Pelk went on, ‘I ended up in the service of Lady Hish Tulla. I saw her reach down to Gripp Galas, if you must think of it that way. Bloodlines and rank and station and whatnot. All rubbish. If you find someone who fills your heart, fills in all the cracks and stops all the leaking, to the Abyss with station, Ivis. But you see, I understand you all too well. It’s your excuse for doing nothing.’

‘I can’t. She’s a hostage in my care!’

‘For how much longer? Or, if you can’t wait, then resign your commission with House Dracons.’

He studied her with bleak eyes.

Shrugging, she rummaged in her pack and drew out a flask. ‘In the meantime, old lover, let’s drink against the night and remember other nights from long ago, when we had nothing and everything, when we knew it all but didn’t know a fucking thing. Let’s drink, Ivis, to the sunken islands of our youth.’

He grimaced, and then reached for the flask. His mouth twisted in a mocking grin. ‘I see, looming before us, the shoals of past regrets.’

‘Not me. I regret nothing. Not even not dying.’