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Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. Carey Logan Retrospective Coming to Young Museum
  5. 1996
  6. Chapter One
  7. 2011
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Prudence
  10. Chapter Three
  11. Chapter Four
  12. Chapter Five
  13. Chapter Six
  14. Humility
  15. Chapter Seven
  16. Chapter Eight
  17. Chapter Nine
  18. Chapter Ten
  19. Chapter Eleven
  20. Chapter Twelve
  21. Chapter Thirteen
  22. Chapter Fourteen
  23. Chapter Fifteen
  24. Chapter Sixteen
  25. Chastity
  26. Chapter Seventeen
  27. Modesty & Temperance
  28. Chapter Eighteen
  29. Purity & Obedience
  30. Chapter Nineteen
  31. Chapter Twenty
  32. Chapter Twenty-One
  33. Chapter Twenty-Two
  34. Chapter Twenty-Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-Four
  36. One Year Later
  37. Chapter Twenty-Five
  38. Acknowledgments
  39. Discover Barbara Bourland
  40. About the Author
  41. Also by Barbara Bourland
  42. Reading Group Guide

A glossy town car squished to a heavy stop. The passenger-side window rolled down. “Savage?” asked the driver. Tyler popped off the wall, sauntered over the curb, and opened the door. I clutched my heart, fingers working their way up to my clavicle. I didn’t want him to go.

“Can I give you a ride?” he asked.

“You don’t know where I’m going.”

“I don’t care,” he said. “How’s Berlin?”

“What would you do in Berlin?” I asked.

He leaned in, toward my ear. Out of habit, I angled my neck, and then we were touching, and I felt that old feeling, the golden warmth of him.

“I’ll be your assistant,” he whispered.

“I already have one of those,” I said.

“I’ll be your boyfriend.”

“I have one of those too.” He blinked in surprise. “I—I meant to write and tell you. But somehow I never did.”

“Who is it?

“I’m sorry.”

He blinked again and shook his head. “I waited too long,” he said.

“It’s not that.” I steeled myself to say the thing I had mumbled to myself a thousand times, in bathrooms, in backseats of cars, in the airplane, in the taxi, in my seat as the film played. “You told a lie that changed my entire life. Something that was a crass joke to you, a con to make money, was something I believed in. And I understand how it happened. I’m glad you told the truth. But I don’t think I will ever, ever forgive you.”

An anguished moment stretched between us before he finally spoke. “I know,” he replied. Then he kissed me on the cheek, and I walked away.

*  *  *

A year earlier, in a café in Neukölln, someone tapped me on the shoulder. Someone with big brown eyes and curly brown hair that poked every which way, like Kramer.

“Pearl,” he said, pointing to himself.

“Jonah,” I said in wonder. “How are you?” We kissed twice, like Germans.

“I’m good. I saw your show in Paris,” he said. “Exquisite. I can’t believe you pulled it off. Spectacular, even.”

I blushed. “Thank you.”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“Oh no,” I said. “I still owe you one.”

“You bought me a dozen!”

“But none of them were in person.” He begrudgingly agreed and pulled out a chair as I hailed the waiter.

“Are you living here?” I asked.

“I guess so.” He smiled. “I’m doing a language course. I have a yearlong visa.”

“That’s the scam,” I said, laughing. “Me and you and everyone we know.” I added, “I never asked you what you did outside Pearl.”

“I was working on a PhD in applied mathematics.”

“Holy cow,” I exclaimed. The waiter brought our drinks. “For how long?”