I was almost an hour late. I wore a long black gown over sneakers. My hair was pink again, and bigger than ever. Everyone moved out of my way. I could have turned—I could have gone in any direction—but I made a beeline for the window that separated the courtyard from the party, the shortest path to his location. With my feet on black granite, his on white travertine, I held my hand to the window. Tyler spread his fingers to match mine. Marlin, Jes, and Jack gave a small wave. They were pallid, worn through with anxiety.

“Hold on,” I mouthed through the window. “I’ll come find you.” I picked up my dress and turned—which was when the crowd swept me up, and I was pushed away from Pine City in a wave to the museum’s formal theater. Though the whole museum was devoted to BODY OF WORK, the Carey Logan retrospective, it would be closed off until after the screening. The heat from a hundred pairs of eyes licked my skin as I found an empty seat and lowered myself into it, but I was safe in the knowledge that nobody actually saw me at all; I had finally become comfortable in my own skin—and separate from it too.

Max took the empty seat beside me as the lights went down. The room hissed with whispered rumors.

“Hi,” she said carefully.

“Hi.”

“I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I decided at the last minute.”

“I want—” When Max said want I turned away, because I didn’t care what she wanted, and she paused. “You haven’t answered any of my emails,” she tried. “Are we okay?”

“We’re the same,” I told her.

“The same as what?”

“The same as always,” I said evenly.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I want you to know how hard I fought to keep that photo off the cover.”

“The back cover,” I said snidely, and couldn’t help but laugh.

“I did,” she pleaded. “I want you to know that.”

“It’s fine.”

“How’s Berlin?” she tried.

“It’s good.”

“Everything changed after you left. I mean—well, you’ll find out about all of it tonight.” She pointed to the program. “Open it.” How quickly she cast off her sorry demeanor and began fizzing with excitement instead, and I thought, Max, you will never, ever change.

The program was nicely made; a keepsake. An article. Thick paper—tactile letterpress—a rich emerald ink. I didn’t pretend to be shocked.

BODY OF WORK

a film by Pine City

NOTE TO VISITORS: This film shows a graphic death by drowning. It is not suitable for children.

This film contains footage from:

DROP OUT PIECE

35mm film

Clarke, Maria

Born: 1971, USA