Back Fake Like Me
Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. Carey Logan Retrospective Coming to Young Museum
  5. 1996
  6. Chapter One
  7. 2011
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Prudence
  10. Chapter Three
  11. Chapter Four
  12. Chapter Five
  13. Chapter Six
  14. Humility
  15. Chapter Seven
  16. Chapter Eight
  17. Chapter Nine
  18. Chapter Ten
  19. Chapter Eleven
  20. Chapter Twelve
  21. Chapter Thirteen
  22. Chapter Fourteen
  23. Chapter Fifteen
  24. Chapter Sixteen
  25. Chastity
  26. Chapter Seventeen
  27. Modesty & Temperance
  28. Chapter Eighteen
  29. Purity & Obedience
  30. Chapter Nineteen
  31. Chapter Twenty
  32. Chapter Twenty-One
  33. Chapter Twenty-Two
  34. Chapter Twenty-Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-Four
  36. One Year Later
  37. Chapter Twenty-Five
  38. Acknowledgments
  39. Discover Barbara Bourland
  40. About the Author
  41. Also by Barbara Bourland
  42. Reading Group Guide

Now that it was free of living people, I could see all the details. The doorknobs were indeed all hands—shaped in fists and handshakes and open palms and every other permutation—each one different from the next. The brass banister, at the top, was the crook of an elbow, as if you were taking someone’s arm on a slippery sidewalk. I realized that the tube of it was bumpy because it was a series of different biceps cast in one long, undulating line.

The light fixtures, hanging in clusters from the ceiling, looked like the bulbs were made of grapes. I peered at one and saw that it was an eyeball, with a pale iris and an opaque white pupil, held to its cloth-covered cord of ivory silk, braided with tiny, irregular veins of red and blue, with a grommet made from a golden coin.

The transoms above each door, to let in light from the atrium, were, like Max’s office, smooth slabs of semiprecious stones. The edges where the stone met the wood were ever so slightly beveled, like they were gigantic pieces of jewelry in the setting of a door. Max’s office was rose quartz, and the other doors on the third floor (which I didn’t dare open) glowed, backlit by their own glass ceilings. There was rusty carnelian, Caribbean-blue apatite, chartreuse brazilianite; the second floor had transoms of paper-thin jade, pear-tinted heliodor, and crystalline Egyptian faience. One door—the one next to my painting, for the library—had a cage transom, laser-cut brass patterned in tiny hexagons, same as the ones on Marlin’s fuzzy prints.

My palm fit seamlessly into the outstretched brass hand of the knob. When it turned, in a handshake, I found the library exactly as it had been before.

The catalog appeared to be alphabetical by movement. Each shelf was sleek and full to the brim, though here and there a book had been removed. At each hole in the collection, I tried to figure out who or what was missing, if it was only the books I’d seen in Max’s office, but my knowledge simply wasn’t complete enough to guess the names that had been taken out.

I started browsing. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking for—I was enjoying the search, waiting for something to catch my eye, for something to jump out and tell me, This is what to do!

On impulse I took out catalogs from recent exhibitions on the early abstract painter Clyfford Still, the Bauhaus professor László Moholy-Nagy, and the medieval painter Giotto di Bondone, a fourteenth-century muralist who worked at the beginning of the Renaissance and was mentioned in Dante’s Divine Comedy.