“It’s not that good, either,” she huffed. “I mean, you are seeing this, right? It looks like I put on really weird lingerie, covered it in glue, and then rolled around on your classroom floor.” Sloane touched one of the several multicolored feathers against the top of the mermaid costume. “Like, this doesn’t even make sense for a mermaid. Why are there feathers? Am I part bird, too?”

Emma tilted her head and looked Sloane up and down. Then she moved her eyepatch to her other eye and did it again.

“Maybe you’re a mermaid who fought a pirate? You know, one of those with the parrots on their shoulder. And you really decided to give it to him for polluting your waters.”

“So I killed his bird and decided to wear it?”

“Donning thy enemy’s loyal pet’s feathers as a reminder to him and the rest of his dirty scoundrels to leave you alone? That would be a pretty badass power move.”

Sloane opened her mouth to argue but found she agreed. “Okay, so intense power moves aside, I don’t think that’s going to fly for the pageant.” She picked at the gold plastic chain that hung beneath the top. She didn’t understand that detail, either. Just like she didn’t understand the sheer sleeves that were covered in glitter and random feathers and the bust portion that was black and barely covered anything. At least the bottoms were feather free, even if it looked like something you might wear to surprise your new husband on your wedding night. Sloane moved her butt around and gave it a long look in the mirror. “I mean, if I’m a mermaid, then why is so much skin showing? The sheer parts of the top make sense, but a sheer tail with a bikini bottom sewn under it? This is basically just a window to my ass.”

Emma laughed. Unlike Sloane, she had on parachute pirate pants that were more of a closed door.

“I told you this place has two moods—stock Halloween costumes year-round and then really funky stuff that either works really well or doesn’t. Personally, I still think this works.”

Sloane rolled her eyes and stalked back into her stall. Two other costumes hung up on hooks. One had a tail, but its matching top was the size of a glorified napkin. The other was a more reasonable outfit with a crop top and tights that were covered in metallic scale print. Sloane decided she’d go for that combo next.

“You know, you’d be singing a different tune if you were in my shoes,” she called through the door. “You get to play it safe with your sailor or pirate-whatever thing you’re doing. And you don’t have to go onstage.”