He ceased applying the cream on my legs and he tilted his head with a look of adoration on his face.

"You better get used to it." His rough voice deepened as he informed me "You will be taking it."

I choked on the air.

"Just tell me the truth." He begged, "I cannot fight for you if you do not tell me what I am fighting."

Taking a deep breath, I revealed "The truth is that I love you too much. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone."

He rose on his knees so that he was towering over me as he asked "Then why are you doing this?"

"It is scary to have someone have your heart in their hands and trust them not to crush it." I whispered "It is scary to need someone. To love them. To rely on them not leave you."

"I will never leave." He gritted out while sounding offended that I would say such a thing.

"But—"

"I am not going anywhere, baby." He stated while cupping my face once again "You will never lose me."

I closed my eyes so I did not have to look at him as I spoke "I do not know exactly why my mother chose to end her life but I know that she felt trapped. She sometimes looked at me with resentment. My dad too looked at me that way after she died. I never want you to wake up and feel that towards me too. I never want you to feel stuck with me."

"How could you think that. I—" He began to raise his voice.

I cut him off by shouting "You are going somewhere. You are going to make it big with your fight club."

"Ella. Look at me." He demanded in his dominant tone "It is nothing. Not compared to you. I would choose you over anything. No matter what the other option was."

"You should not have to make a choice." I said before explaining "You have a destination. The same cannot be said about me. I have no place to go and I feel so lost."

His hands fell from my face and gripped the bedsheets on either side of me so that I was surrounded by him.

"You have just lost your dad." He said, "You need time."

"I have lost everybody." I sighed, my breath shaking "I can not go through that again. Especially not with you. I will not survive it. I need to let go while everything is still raw so I do not have to face someone leaving me again."