But the abject sensations on her naked, freezing skin weren’t the first thing on her mind – it was that little doorway, what lay beyond. She had to be this low, at floor level, to see through it. It was a small door of children’s nightmares. The sort made by anthropomorphic rats and mice, the sort who bundle curious kittens into roly-poly puddings, or by little folklore hominids who watch you and steal your stuff – borrowers, trolls and nasty fairies who live in the walls and sneak about while you sleep. There was something moving inside.

The door wasn’t as small as a mouse hole, not as big as a coal-cellar door. Maybe slightly bigger than a cat flap? She wasn’t sure if she could get through it if she needed to. Not that she’d ever want to. Unless something was coming from behind her, and this was the only way out.

She was lying on her stomach, feeling the sting of the grazes on her stomach, only now worrying about what the soft substance smearing into her wounds really was, when a light came up in the space beyond the door.

Before she could see any further she snapped out of the hallucination, gasping, almost tipping herself off the counter stool as she drew herself up and out. She swatted at her stomach, put her hand under her top – no grazes there. Only now did she notice the customer glancing over at her from the kitchenware shelves.

‘We’ll be closing up in a few minutes, sir,’ she said. ‘But if there’s anything I can help you with?’

The middle-aged man bought an espresso pot shaped and painted like a cartoon circus rocket and Petra cashed up and shut the shop.

Rose-Tinted Reviews with Rose Devriendt #152

Spillage, Aisle Four!

Falling, Metamuse, Sakurashinmachi,
Setagaya City, Tokyo, 23–31 December

It’s Christmas and I’m pushing a trolley in the Inageya supermarket in Sakurashinmachi, an upmarket residential suburb of Tokyo. Metamuse has offered me plane fare and five nights’ accommodation in Tokyo in exchange for ‘an honest review’ of their new show, Falling. I had plans to spend the festive season with my wife’s family, but she’s a good person; she spared me and told me to take this opportunity instead.

Here goes: my attempt at an honest review, whatever that might mean.

I’ve never been to Tokyo and I’m surprised by it. It’s massive, yes, but it’s human-scaled – it seems to have been built by lots and lots of people with a sense of society. I don’t feel like an alien in an alien world; I don’t feel lost in translation, and I find my way out to the supermarket on the highly efficient public transport with an hour to spare.

If you read my review of Idiopathy that ran in Paris this May, you’ll know I had issues with sharing headphones. This time you can use your own device. Some people might have similar squeams about uploading apps and allowing them full access to your data and location, but I don’t give a shit. I know Big Brother is watching, and I prefer to be entertained while they do.