A furious look crosses her face as she puts it all together. I’ve never seen a woman so angry. She reaches down for her purse, looks inside as if to make sure everything is still there, and slings it over her shoulder.

“You went through my purse?”

I shrug, feeling like I’m a bigger Big Dale with every passing second.

“Damn you, Zach. I feel like punching you right now. You’re lucky you’re a minor.”

“Sorry,” I say. “It was just there one day and I looked through it.”

“Jesus.” Her face reddens.

“Anyway, about the stealing, we both do it, so what’s the big deal? Let me just roll this out and we’ll pretend you never looked inside.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

She opens her purse and tosses two unopened packs of cigarettes onto the counter. Then she opens the register and removes a piece of white cardstock from beneath the change drawer. Somebody has scrawled some notes on it in tiny blue letters, but I’m too far away to read them.

She holds the cardstock closer to my face.

“Do you see this?”

I nod.

She hands it to me. “Take a closer look.”

The notes are for cigarettes and sodas, the price of each listed to the right. I don’t say anything, because I know exactly what’s coming.

“I haven’t stolen a damn thing in my life,” she says. “Everything I take from this store gets deducted from my paycheck.”

There’s another awkward silence during which I feel like burying myself in the Dumpster and never coming out.

“Well, what about the gun?” I say, handing back the cardstock. “What’s that all about?”

“I don’t have to tell you about the gun, Zach … but I will, because for some weird reason I can’t figure out yet, I think you should know.” She replaces the cardstock and shoves the cigarettes back into her purse. “I’m allowed to carry this gun for reasons having to do with my ex-husband.” She pauses. “There, that’s all you need to know. Does it satisfy you?”

I lean my hands on the side of the cart. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“Leave the beer and take out the garbage,” she says, shaking her head and looking around the store. “I can’t deal with this right now. I have to get out of here on time tonight.”

I prop the door open and push the cart outside. My head hangs low and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to look Brenda in the eye again. Glancing at the assembly plant across the street, part of me suddenly doubts I’ll ever make it out of Blaine.

Do I even deserve to make it out? I wonder.