“For God’s sake, Bill. Are you telling me if some sick bastard did this to Nadia, you wouldn’t want to shoot him yourself?”

Without hesitation my father said, in his usual quiet voice, “Of course I would.”

After Amy died, I wanted to sit in on her killer’s trial. My aunt—Amy’s mother—had tried to talk my dad out of letting me, but he’d only said, in that same soft way, “I want her to see justice done.”

I wasn’t allowed to stay for the whole trial—my father took me out during any parts he deemed unsuitable. But even from what I saw, I knew things weren’t going well. Everyone thought it would be so simple. The police had been on the scene moments after Amy’s death, giving her killer time to run but not to cover his traces or hide evidence. And they had me, an eyewitness.

Yet it hadn’t been that easy. Those police on the scene had included the father and uncle of the victim, not acting as investigators and sealing off the scene, but rushing in hoping to save her, hoping to catch her killer. Mistakes had been made. Accusations of tampering were lobbed.

And I wasn’t allowed to testify. As for why, I remember only whispered meetings behind closed doors—the crown attorney with my father, my father with my mother, my parents with Amy’s. Then came the shrinks. Two of them. First one, gently taking me through that day. More whispered conferences with my father and the lawyer followed. Then came the second psychologist. More questions. More prodding. After that, the whispering stopped and the decision was made. I would not testify.

I can only presume they were afraid to put me on the stand. I’d been thirteen, kidnapped, seen my cousin raped, then escaped…only to fail to bring help in time. At best, I was a traumatized witness. At worst, I was a liar, coached by my father and uncle to accuse an innocent man.

Drew Aldrich was acquitted.

At first, I blamed myself. I’d failed Amy once, by running away, then failed her again, by not convincing the prosecutor and the psychologists that I was strong enough to testify. But they had my statements. That should have been enough.

It might have been different if I’d been able to add charges to the case. But Amy had been the victim, not me.

It didn’t matter. Whatever I had done, or failed to do, justice would still be served. That was why I was here. To see justice. My father had promised.

Outside the courtroom, I watched Aldrich bounce down those steps, and I waited for the shot that would wipe the smug smile off his face.

It didn’t come.

Not then. Not ever.

Aldrich left town that day. A free man.

They let him leave.