“It looked a lot farther than ten feet from where I was standing and maybe that’s my fault, but I sure as hell didn’t see an escape route and just ignore it, if that’s what you meant.”

“Yeah. That’s what I meant.”

He met my gaze and, in his look, I knew he’d seen through my lie—knew I’d seen a chance to escape and rejected it.

I broke away, and continued, “As for getting caught, I misjudged—and yes, I admit that I screwed up. I thought I could turn and get the jump on him, but he was right there.”

Jack nodded, gaze down, as if studying a mole hole at the bottom of a cornstalk. Without looking up, he spoke again, his voice quiet. “Let’s say…sake of argument. You saw the alley. Knew you’d make it. Would you?”

I considered lying, but from that look in his eyes, he already knew the answer.

I squared my shoulders. “Not while I saw a reasonable chance to catch him.”

“What’s reasonable? Greater than zero?”

I opened my mouth, then snapped it shut, and forced out a calm tone. “Reasonable is whatever I decide it is because, as Evelyn said, it’s my risk to take. Maybe you don’t like that, but I’d never endanger you or anyone else, so I don’t see the point of arguing about it.”

His eyes darkened. “No, you don’t, do you? You die? Who gives a shit? No one to care.”

“No one—?”Don’t let him bait you. Just ease back. “I guess that’s right. It’s not like I have a husband and kids at home to worry about.”

“Got no one. Few friends. Everyone else pissed off after Franco. Never came back.”

My nails dug into my palms. “Thank you so much for reminding me of that, Jack.”

“Didn’t mean it like that. Was just—”

“Pointing out that no one would notice I’d died today?”

“No. Just meant—What happened to you. Lost every-thing. Family. Friends. Career. Future. Whatever you thought your life was going to be? Gone. Won’t come back.”

“Well, when you put it that way, maybe I shouldn’t have stopped Wilkes. Just let him put me out of—”

“You want this bad. Knew that. But I fucked up. Didn’t realize how bad. How far you’ll go.”

“How far—?” I could barely get the words out, my heart hammering. “I want what so bad? To kill myself? I am not—”

“Suicidal? Nah. But it happens? It’s a risk? You’ll take it. Won’t let it get in the way.”

“Get in the way of—?” I swallowed the rest, swept aside the cornstalks and headed for the car.

“Dee…”

I didn’t answer. “Nadia…”

I picked up my pace.

I climbed into the backseat. Evelyn turned to look at me, then sighed.