BooksBarbecue
Back Excession
Chapters (108)
  1. About the Author
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. 1 - Outside Context Problem
  6. I
  7. II
  8. III
  9. IV
  10. V
  11. VI
  12. 2 - Not Invented Here
  13. I
  14. II
  15. III
  16. 3 - Uninvited Guests
  17. I
  18. II
  19. III
  20. IV
  21. 4 - Dependency Principle
  22. I
  23. II
  24. III
  25. IV
  26. V
  27. 5 - Kiss The Blade
  28. I
  29. II
  30. III
  31. IV
  32. V
  33. VI
  34. 6 - Pittance
  35. I
  36. II
  37. III
  38. IV
  39. V
  40. VI
  41. 7 - Tier
  42. I
  43. II
  44. III
  45. IV
  46. 8 - Killing Time
  47. I
  48. II
  49. III
  50. IV
  51. V
  52. VI
  53. VII
  54. VIII
  55. 9 - Unacceptable Behaviour
  56. I
  57. II
  58. III
  59. IV
  60. V
  61. VI
  62. VII
  63. VIII
  64. IX
  65. X
  66. XI
  67. XII
  68. XIII
  69. XIV
  70. 10 - Heavy Messing
  71. I
  72. II
  73. III
  74. IV
  75. V
  76. VI
  77. VII
  78. VIII
  79. IX
  80. X
  81. XI
  82. XII
  83. XIII
  84. XIV
  85. XV
  86. 11 - Regarding Gravious
  87. I
  88. II
  89. III
  90. IV
  91. V
  92. VI
  93. VII
  94. VIII
  95. IX
  96. X
  97. XI
  98. XII
  99. XIII
  100. XIV
  101. 12 - Faring Well
  102. I
  103. II
  104. III
  105. IV
  106. V
  107. VI
  108. Epilogue

‘Why don’t you want to see him now?’

‘I . . .’ she paused. ‘It’s just been too long,’ she said. ‘I think . . . I suppose for the first few years I did want to see him again; to ... to--’ she looked down, picking at her fingernails. ‘--I don’t know. Oh, to try and make things all right . . . grief, that sounds so lame.’ She sniffed and looked upwards at the translucent dome above her. ‘I felt there were things we needed to have said that we never did say to each other, and that if we did get together, even for a little while, we could . . . work things out. Draw a line under all that happened. Tie up loose ends; that . . . that sort of thing. You know?’ she said, looking bright-eyed at the avatar.

Oh, Dajeil, thought the ship. How wounded about the eyes. ‘I know,’ it said. ‘But now you feel that too much time has passed?’

The woman smoothed her hand over her belly. She nodded slowly, looking at the floor. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘It’s all too long ago. I’m sure he’s forgotten all about me.’ She glanced up at the avatar.

‘And yet he is here,’ it said.

‘Did he come to see me?’ she asked it, already sounding bitter.

‘No, and yes,’ the ship said. ‘He had another motive. But it is because of you he is here.’

She shook her head. ‘No,’ she said. ‘No; too much time . . .’

The avatar unfolded itself from the seat and crossed to where Dajeil sat; it knelt down before her, and hesitantly extended one hand towards her abdomen. Looking into her eyes, it gently placed its palm on Dajeil’s belly. Dajeil felt dizzy. She could not recall Amorphia ever having touched her before, either under its own control or under the Sleeper Service’s. She put her own hand on top of the avatar’s. The creature’s hand was steady, soft and cool.

‘And yet,’ it said, ‘in some ways, no time has passed.’

Dajeil gave a bitter laugh. ‘Oh yes,’ she said. ‘I’ve been here, doing nothing except growing older. But what about him?’ she asked, and suddenly there was something fierce about her voice. ‘How much has he lived in forty years? How many loves has he had?’

‘I don’t believe that signifies, Dajeil,’ the ship told her quietly. ‘The point is that he is here. You can talk to him. The two of you can talk. Some resolution might be achieved.’ It pressed very lightly on her belly. ‘I believe it can be achieved.’

She sighed heavily. She looked down at her hand. ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I don’t know. I need to think. I can’t . . . I need to think.’