‘Just listen to the way Holton told it. And I know it’s true because who lies with their last breath?’ I could tell Michael was frustrated I hadn’t patted him on the back after learning it was Alan who had pulled the trigger on our father. He knew he still had to win me over. He went for his drink, remembered the taste, put the can down un-sipped and instead worked his jaw around to swallow some saliva, clear his throat. ‘Dad found himself in with a group. Gang’s not quite the right word. Colleagues?’ He laughed. ‘They called themselves the Sabres. As in tooth, you know? That group started to grow a bit, and priorities changed. They moved from robbers who occasionally dealt to dealers who occasionally stole. Harder stuff, too. And with that came more violence, more enforcement. And someone decided ransoms paid better than robberies or drugs. Dad drew a line he wouldn’t cross, and when the Sabres started to cross it . . .’

As he said this, something my mother had told me in the library resurfaced: But a bad person who thinks they’re a good one – now, that’s what got him into trouble.

‘Dad flipped?’ I interrupted. If only we’d been in the library, a much more appropriate setting for grand deductions.

Michael nodded. ‘He cut a deal to feed along information, and in return they’d go easy on him when the rest of his mates went down. He saw it as a chance to get out. You know how that kind of thing is done – they skip over the worker bees to take care of the queen. Dad was small fry. He was helping them get the ringleaders. But, most of all, they wanted the dirty cops.’ He paused to let it sink in. ‘Dad’s death wasn’t a stick-up gone wrong. They were coming for him.’

I remembered Audrey telling me my father wasn’t a junkie. Maybe Holton had planted the syringe, to help make the robbery more convincing. A strung-out junkie, after all, is more likely to open fire on a squad car without provocation. If my father had been about to spill the beans on Holton and his partner, it made sense.

‘It’s a shame no one pegged Holton for something as big as murder, but his dealings caught him eventually. He used to steal cocaine from the evidence locker, take bribes. There’re only so many blind eyes one man can ask for.’ That seemed pointed, but I let him have it. ‘He served some jail time, and then everything about who he was before then became hush hush, because it’s not a good look for the police force, you understand?’