‘I’ve finished,’ Audrey said, shaking off Marcelo’s hand with a clunk. Her plate was still half full.

‘Oh, grow up,’ Sofia grunted, taking a seat next to Lucy (my sister-in-law, who you might remember Michael mentioning in Chapter 1), who was opposite Marcelo. Lucy had clearly preened for this weekend: her blonde hair was freshly cut in a bob and the tag was jutting out of the collar of her newly purchased knitted cardigan. I don’t know if Sofia was emboldened by having Lucy as a shield or if she just hadn’t noticed my mother’s proximity to sharp cutlery, but such backtalk would have been suicidal for a blood relative. Instead, the only thing that died was my mother’s resolve to leave the table, and she creaked back into her seat.

Andy and Katherine rounded out the punctual members of the family. I took my place quietly next to Sofia, in front of a covered plate. It turned out someone had saved my main, beef cooked to spreadsheet specification, and Katherine must have spent some time glowering at the cloche because it was still lukewarm. Lucy had an extra plate in front of her, which meant she’d pinched my entrée, and I wondered if she was just hungry or if it was a deliberate gesture.

Something you should know about me is that I like to look at everything two ways. I’m always trying to see both sides of the coin.

‘Well,’ Andy said, clapping his hands together in an attempt to break the ice, which only someone who’d married into the family would be stupid enough to try. ‘How about this place, huh? Anyone checked out the rooftop yet? I heard they have a jacuzzi. You can tee off from the roof too. Concierge told me if you hit the weather station, they give you a hundred bucks. Who’s up for it?’ He hunted enthusiasm by peering over at Marcelo, who looked like he was dressed for a golf trip rather than the snow, with a chequered sweater-vest that even I knew was made of cotton, not wool, and therefore was a real death wish in the wet and cold. Judged as I’d felt by the woman with the snorkelled four-wheel drive, at least I’d brought a polar fleece.

‘Ern?’ Andy continued looking around the table. Katherine, who was between him and Marcelo, nudged him quiet. Talking to the enemy was forbidden.

We all ate in silence, but I knew everyone at the table was thinking the same thing I was: that whoever’s idea it was to kick off this weekend a day early, when we all knew the reason we were here wouldn’t arrive until tomorrow, deserved to be strapped to a toboggan and given a shortcut down the mountain.