“I am not,” he offered angrily. Motions stiff, he locked his door from the outside, turning to hold the key up between us. “Here,” he said belligerently. “Take my key. I’ll be out of town for a while. I was going to give it to you tonight, but since you’re here, it will save me the trouble. I’ve stopped my mail, and the rent is paid up through August.”

“August!” I stammered, suddenly afraid.

He glanced at Jenks. “Jenks, can Jax come over and watch my plants for me until I get back? He did a good job last time. It might only be a week, but the heat and electricity are on automatic draw in case it’s longer.”

“Nick…” I protested, my voice sounding small. How had this turned around so fast?

“Sure,” Jenks said meekly. “You know, I think I’ll go wait downstairs.”

“No, I’m done.” Nick picked up the briefcase. “I’m going to be busy tonight, but I’ll swing by later to pick him up before I leave town.”

“Nick, wait!” I said. My stomach clenched and I felt light-headed. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I should’ve ignored the packed bag and played the stupid girlfriend. I should’ve gone to dinner and ordered lobster. My first real boyfriend in five years, and finally when things were starting to get back to normal, here I was, scaring him off. Just like all the others.

Jenks made an embarrassed sound. “Uh, I’ll be by the front door,” he said, vanishing down the stairwell to leave a trail of glowing pixy dust all the way to the next landing.

Long face tight in unhappiness, Nick pushed the key into my hand. His fingers were cold. “I can’t—” He took a breath, meeting and holding my eyes. I waited, frightened at what he was going to say. Suddenly, I didn’t want to hear it.

“Rachel, I was going to tell you this over dinner, but…I tried. I really did. I just can’t do this right now,” he said softly. “I’m not leaving you,” he rushed to add before I could open my mouth. “I love you, and I want to be with you. Maybe for the rest of my life. I don’t know. But every time you tap a line, I feel it, and it’s as if I’m back in that FIB cruiser having an epileptic seizure from the line you pulled through me. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t do anything. When I’m farther away, it’s easier. I need to be away for a while. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to feel bad.”

Face cold, I could say nothing. He never told me I had made him seize. God help me, I hadn’t known. Jenks had been with him. Why hadn’t he told me?