He nodded, his eyes closing briefly. “I’m tired of being hurt, Rachel. I’m a nice guy who just happened to kill his first person at eighteen.”

I swallowed, taking my hands back under the pretense of tucking my hair behind an ear. Kisten felt me draw away and turned to look out the front window, placing his hands back on the wheel. I had told him not to make my decisions for me; I suppose I deserved every sordid detail. Stomach twisting, I said, “Go on.”

Kisten stared at nothing as the traffic passed, accentuating the point of stillness in the car. “I killed my second about a year later,” he said, his voice flat. “She was an accident. I managed to keep from ending anyone else’s life again until last year when—”

I watched him as he took a breath and exhaled. My muscles trembled, waiting for it.

“God, I’m sorry, Rachel,” he whispered. “I swore I’d try to never have to kill anyone again. Maybe that’s why Piscary doesn’t want me as his scion now. He wants someone to share the experience, and I won’t do it. He was the one who actually killed them, but I was there. I helped. I held them down, kept them busy while he gleefully butchered them one by one. That they deserved it hardly seems justification anymore. Not with the way he did it.”

“Kisten?” I said hesitantly, pulse fast.

He turned, and I froze, trying not to be frightened. His eyes had gone black in the memory. “That feeling of pure domination is a twisted, addictive high,” he said, the lost hunger in his voice chilling me. “It took me a long time to learn how to let go of that so I could remember the inhuman savagery of it, hidden by the jolt of pure adrenaline. I lost myself with Piscary’s thoughts and strength flooding me, but I know how to wield it now, Rachel. I can be both his scion and a just person. I can be his enforcer and a gentle lover. I know I can walk the balance. He’s punishing me right now, but he’ll take me back. And when he does, I’ll be ready.”

What the hell was I doing here?

“So,” I said, hearing my voice tremble. “That’s it?”