More befuddling—the sparks I keep imagining between us. He sets off warming firecrackers through my core whenever he looks my way. He’s so delightfully intense. Whew. Undressing me with his eyes feels like a gross understatement. It’s more like undressing my soul, rendering me naked but safe, nested to him.

What is he thinking? Is he thinking the same thing I’m thinking? Well, probably not the whole naked bird Marnie in Grady’s nest thing. Geez.

But something like it? Does he have those kinds of thoughts about me?

I remember his reaction when Marigold thought we were about to kiss, how absurd he made it seem, and how determined he was not to label our outing a date. He doesn’t date. Ever. Reason tells me that Grouchy Tripp has no interest in sparks, undressing me with his eyes, or nesting me to him. Soul Penetrating Stare is probably just Grady’s resting face.

I must go shields-up whenever I’m in his atmosphere. Or anyone’s, for that matter. This thing with Grady, whatever it is, will end, just like every relationship I’ve ever had. I prompt my phone and start typing.

Piece of cake. Don’t you have a cow’s rectum to explore?

No, but thanks for ruining cake for me forever.

A chuckle rumbles from me.

I’m getting you a cow cake for your birthday.

Yours will be a pirate ship.

The phone falls to the couch. I take a breath, thinking about my birthday. I never want to celebrate it again. Next year, I’ll lock the doors, pull the curtains, turn off my phone, and spend the day in bed, hiding under the covers with the cats if they want to risk being that close to me on my unluckiest day.

Last night, he insisted on seeing me to my front door. It was dark when I finished detailing my notes for the G&G.

“You didn’t get to fish,” I noted with regret. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I enjoyed today.”

I cast him a disbelieving look. “Really? Errands and light theft?”

“Truly,” he said. “But, are you okay? The thing with Ashe must’ve been difficult.”

I didn’t want to lie and say I’m fine. I also didn’t want to admit that the thing with Ashe felt like having my heart scraped out by a melon baller.

“It had to be done,” I said with a light shrug.

Grady’s hands tucked into his pockets, and his brow crinkled. “I wasn’t always like this.”

“Like what?”