“This is Le’Arch, the notorious art thief from the United Kingdom,” Nick said, pointing at me as he came in. “Have you searched her yet?”

“Oh. My. God,” I said, not sure I’d heard him right. “Nick, please tell me you did not just make an anagram of my name. Please. Just please.”

His jaw clenched, and he took another step forward. He was almost far enough from the door that I had a good chance of making it through, but without the rings—which were not even here anymore—I was dead anyway. “She has a history of claiming to be agents of big corporations and walking away with priceless artifacts,” he said, and the woman’s hand came away from the phone.

How long had he been listening at the door, and where in hell were Jenks and Ivy?

Well, Nick wasn’t the only one who could tell pretty stories. “Marcie, this jerk is my old boyfriend. He doesn’t work for the FIB, and he’s been stalking me all week. The man is a thief.”

Nick stiffened. “I’m a thief?” he said, looking odd in his new clothes as he advanced another step. “I’m not the one stealing ancient elven artifacts to break the ley lines. You are a menace, and I’m trying to stop you.”

“How dare you blame me for that!” I shouted. “I’m trying to stop him!” His jaw clenched, and I turned to Marcie. The woman hadn’t picked up the phone, but she was ready to. “Marcie, I’m sorry,” I said, still trying to turn this into a stalker boyfriend issue. “I’m going to file a restraining order as soon as I get out of here. He doesn’t work for the FIB, and he’s lying to you to get me in trouble with my boss. If I don’t get those rings out of here, I’m a dead woman.” True enough.

Nick made an exasperated sound when Marcie looked at him with doubt, starting to believe me. “Neither of you move.”

“Has she taken any pieces yet?” Nick said, but it sounded desperate. “What rings did she ask after?”

Marci’s eyes narrowed, her belief swinging back to him. “Riffletic’s.”

Nick leaned to see the ring case. “There’s a pair missing.”

“There is not!” I said, affronted, but Marcie had already pulled away from her corner, rushing to look. “No!” I exclaimed when she lowered her head to see and Nick grabbed a heavy vase. It hit the back of her head without breaking, and the woman hung for a heartbeat, eyes wide as she slowly collapsed.

“You son of a bitch!” I said, lunging forward to catch her, my bare feet burning on the carpet squares as I struggled with her weight. “What in hell are you doing? Now it’s assault!”