He bought me my own website for my birthday which is the nicest thing I can think of . . . so now there is an arundhatibannerji.com on the net . . . still under construction as I have to upload my portfolio. I felt very touched. I’ve been having very painful migraines this past month and he has given me this rare herb that seems to be working wonders.

He is a genuinely nice person. I don’t want anything else at this moment.

I’m sorry . . . this must hurt to read but this is my reality.

Every once in a while he goes off to Holland on business. The days he is away I miss the companionship a lot. I read books, go to the gym, freelance. I do miss you but I am changing . . . I HAVE changed. I’m quieter, more introspective, I want different things from life, I want a sense of security and stability, I want simplicity . . . and Javed is fulfilling these needs . . . anyway work beckons.

Ciao,

Arundhati

Hi Bebe,

Have been getting your messages since last night. It would be great if you sent them to me from ICQ coz then I can immediately reply from my mobile. ICQ allows that. My ICQ number is 165053476. Sandy’s coming?? He’ll come to Calcutta for sure, right? Yipee!

My birthday was surprisingly quite nice . . . I woke up gloomy and wanted to forget that I have just three years before I hit thirty. Had a good cry and listened to Smashing Pumpkins. But I was not allowed to forget it at all.

Javed sent me flowers and planned a surprise cake-and-candle affair in the evening. I wasn’t expecting that at all so it was rather nice.

What are you doing today?

Ciao,

A.

Then, the email that came in reply to Angad’s pleas for a reunion:

I’ve told you again and again I have a new life here. I have left everything from last year behind. Things change and keep changing.

In the last two months I have met someone who has helped me regain my will to live and I have come to depend on him enormously.

I have learnt a great deal about myself and my needs. The more I understand and face up to the kind of person I am the more I realize that what we had is over. We cannot and will not be able to regain what we had; the consequences of that can only be as devastating as they were last year. I cannot afford to take another risk.

My youth is tied up with yours; it always will be. Nothing can touch that. As adults we have become two separate people who cannot fulfil each other’s needs.