I gathered her to me. Felt the press of her breasts against my chest. Her breath on my neck.

Though new to each other, we knew what we were about. We took to the bed in no hurry. There was light left in the day.

She became a different shape as she lay beside me. It was my turn to trace lines on her. My hand between her legs. She moved in a rhythm, rucking her hips, and I followed. With her eyes closed, I could have almost been forgotten, until she gripped my chin, my cheek, and then my hair. She kissed me, harder now, insistent. I was not to stop.

I felt her shudder. And then once more, before she pushed me onto my back. I stared up at her. Marvelled at the loose hair against her shoulders, the rise and fall of her chest, and, more than anything, the feeling of her.

Her hands raked me as she worked both our bodies.

‘You were. Always. Needed,’ she whispered.

I felt us both tense. She pressed her forehead against mine. And then she was gone, far away, to the other side of the bed where inches were like miles between us.

I stared at the ceiling, and the shadows stretching across its length. The only sound was our breathing. It wasn’t how I’d imagined it would be. And I felt foolish at that – it was the thought of a young man, someone with their naivety intact, who hadn’t seen enough of the world to dent their idealism. I twisted and turned even as I lay still. I didn’t want to lessen what we’d just done, but there was too much I didn’t understand.

Rebecca was snoring.

I turned to her. She was fast asleep, even without the chewing of ettiene. Before too long her night-sister would wake. But there was nothing I could do about that. For once my night-brother would wake up staring down the barrel.

I eased myself out of bed, not wanting to disturb her, and chewed my leaf. I helped him that much, at least. On the window beside the plant was the little bear I had bought for Rebecca. There hadn’t been a chance to give it to her properly, no right moment for a gift between us. This wasn’t the right moment, either. But still, I tucked it into the front fold of her dress, not knowing when I would have another chance. In truth, it was a relief not to have to give it to her myself. Something told me we would not give gifts to each other. I’d made a mistake buying it. That wasn’t the nature of what we had.

When I returned to the bed, Rebecca lay with her back to me. I reached out but didn’t touch her. It was enough to know I was needed.

Christophor came to with Mrs Eder on his pillow. Our whole body tensed, and that was enough to wake her. She withdrew slowly.