‘It wouldn’t be a cheap affair.’ His voice was so authoritative she almost believed him. ‘Nothing you ever did could ever be cheap, Vicky. And you wouldn’t be a married woman for long. Not if I had my way. Not unless you were married to me.’

It was all too much to handle, and she wasn’t handling it well. ‘No,’ she said for a third time, her voice little more than a whisper. ‘Don’t telephone me again, Adam. Don’t try and contact me.’

And then, without even saying goodbye to him—knowing she couldn’t say goodbye to him—she put the receiver down.

In the spring of 1920, fifteen months after the war ended, Berthold at last suggested she return to Berlin.

It’s still a devastated city, Liebchen, but we must do our best to ignore the riots still taking place and make a new start to our lives. As Max is now nearly ten, perhaps he would like to consider going to one of the academies that specialize in technical subjects. Hugo’s school we can discuss when you arrive. As for Nancy, the AugusteVictoria School on the Nürenbergerstrasse would be ideal. I will wait until you arrive and then we can make the decisions together.

With love and longing.

Your impatient husband,

Berthold

Her reaction was not as euphoric as she knew it should have been. There was all her long-felt reluctance to live in Berlin. There was her profound reluctance to leave the garden she had begun creating. And, though she had never broken her self-imposed vow not to see him alone again, there was her deep reluctance to have the Channel separating her from Adam.

Zelda was also back in communication with her. A letter about Paul’s educational future was as abrupt and terse as all her letters had been since the last years of the war.

Dear Vicky,

Paul has been so long in England I cannot imagine him fitting into Berlin life again. I think it best he remains at St Dunstan’s and that he then goes to an English university.

Things have changed here so drastically that if it were known Josef has an American stepson, life would be even more difficult for him than it is already. He’s gained control of the steelworks and factories again, but reaching full production is an uphill task. So many machines and workshops were smashed to smithereens that rebuilding is taking a long time and as yet only two of the blast furnaces in the Ruhr are in operation.

Berthold tells me you are finally returning with the children. Please ensure Paul understands that, for him, the return will be a visit only. From now on he will have to board full-time at school. If all this sounds unwelcoming, I don’t mean it to, but I have endured more these last few years than you can ever imagine. When you see conditions here, you will understand.

Zelda

‘I take it Ma has written the same kind of letter to you as she has to me,’ Paul said, too happy at the prospect of being able to remain at St Dunstan’s to be concerned by his letter’s lack of effusive maternal love. ‘Why don’t you ask Max and Hugo if they’d like to change to being full-time boarders as I did? They’d be able to have rugby coaching on Saturdays, them. I bet they’d much prefer it to going to school in Germany. Any German either of them knew they’ve long forgotten and, besides, I wouldn’t want to be an English boy in a Berlin school. Not with the height of feeling there is about the Peace Treaty.’