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Contents ( 41)
  1. Contents
  2. Chapter One
  3. Chapter Two
  4. Chapter Three
  5. Chapter Four
  6. Chapter Five
  7. Chapter Six
  8. Chapter Seven
  9. Chapter Eight
  10. Chapter Nine
  11. Chapter Ten
  12. Chapter Eleven
  13. Chapter Twelve
  14. Chapter Thirteen
  15. Chapter Fourteen
  16. Chapter Fifteen
  17. Chapter Sixteen
  18. Chapter Seventeen
  19. Chapter Eighteen
  20. Chapter Nineteen
  21. Chapter Twenty
  22. Chapter Twenty-One
  23. Chapter Twenty-Two
  24. Chapter Twenty-Three
  25. Chapter Twenty-Four
  26. Chapter Twenty-Five
  27. Chapter Twenty-Six
  28. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  29. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  30. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  31. Chapter Thirty
  32. Chapter Thirty-One
  33. Chapter Thirty-Two
  34. Chapter Thirty-Three
  35. Chapter Thirty-Four
  36. Chapter Thirty-Five
  37. Chapter Thirty-Six
  38. Acknowledgements
  39. About the Author
  40. Copyright
  41. About the Publisher

Lotti, heavily enveloped in a miscellaneous collection of jumpers, cardigans, a far too-large military greatcoat that had once belonged to one of Nicholas’s friends and with a headscarf tied turban-like over her hair, knew she was coming off badly in comparison. She took a drink of the so-called coffee, wishing her mother had served it in a mug and not a bone-china coffee cup. A mug she would have been able to warm her hands around.

‘I thought that after Vati died you would leave the city, taking everything that was valuable with you. Nearly everyone else who has the choice has evacuated it. Even moving only as far west as Wannsee or Potsdam has to be safer than remaining here, especially now the Russians are so near to the city.’

She saw her mother flinch and knew that it wasn’t because she had spoken of Russians, but because she had spoken of her father. Though she and Ilse had grieved for him, it had been nothing on the scale of their mother’s grief. ‘No one,’ she had said at the funeral, looking like a carved effigy, her face heavily veiled, ‘will ever know just how much your father loved me and of how much he gave up for me.’

‘The only thing I ever knew Vati to give up were the steelworks,’ Ilse had said to her afterwards, ‘and he did that because he wanted Claus to inherit them sooner rather than later, didn’t he? I can’t see that it had anything whatever to do with Mutti.’

Lotti hadn’t been able to see that it had, either. Her private opinion had always been that the handing over of the House of Remer to Claus had been something that had deeply distressed her mother, rather than being something she had wanted.

In normal circumstances, her mother’s remark might have been one she would have discussed with Claus, but though Claus had attended the funeral, her conversation with him had been stilted. He had looked like a man under the strain of keeping a colossal secret and, considering his many close contacts within the Nazi hierarchy, she had not wanted to speculate as to what his secret was. Ilse had barely exchanged two words with him, either. It had been only months after Nicholas’s arrest and subsequent execution and she had still been like a woman locked in ice. For reasons over and above their father’s death it had not been a happy occasion and neither she nor Ilse had seen Claus since.

‘I’d like you to do something for me,’ Zelda said, breaking in on her thoughts. ‘I want you to take Berthold with you when you go back to Ilse’s. It was Claus’s idea that he live here, but I can’t endure it a moment longer. It was bad enough when your father was alive, but now your father is dead it’s impossible. It’s like looking after a child. He has no grasp of what is happening. He wanders the streets when air raids are in progress. He complains constantly at not having things like coffee and sugar and chocolate as if I were depriving him of them through spite. And he annoys me. He always has and now he’s become so prematurely senile, he annoys me even more.’