His face stiffened, and his eyes went cool as they did when he had outlined a logical premise and she disagreed with him. “I certainly hoped you’d had enough of this foolishness by now and would fly back with me tonight. I’m willing to find a hotel in the area for a few days, and wait.”

“No, Alan, you misunderstand. I’m not coming back to San Francisco. At all. Not now, not later.”

There, she thought, she’d said it. And a huge weight seemed to lift off her heart. It remained light even when she read the irritation in his eyes.

“That’s just nonsense, Rowan. It’s your home—of course you’ll come back.”

“It’s your home, and it’s my parents’ home. That doesn’t make it mine.” She reached out to take his hands, so happy with her own plans that she wanted him to be. “Please try to understand. I love it here. I feel so at home, so settled. I’ve never really felt like this before. I’ve even got a job sketching. It’s art for a computer game. It’s so much fun, Alan. So exciting. And I’m going to look into buying a house somewhere in the area. A place of my own, near the sea. I’m going to plant a garden and learn how to really cook and—”

“Have you lost your mind?” He turned his hands over to grip hers almost painfully. None of the sheer joy on her face registered. Only the words that were to him the next thing to madness. “Computer games? Gardens? Are you listening to yourself?”

“Yes, for the first time in my life that’s just what I’m doing. You’re hurting me, Alan.”

“I’m hurting you?” He came as close to shouting as she’d ever heard, and transferred his grip from her hands to her shoulders. “What about what I feel, what I want? Damn it, Rowan, I’ve been patient with you. You’re the one who suddenly and for no reason that made sense decided to change our relationship. One night we’re lovers, the next day we’re not. I didn’t press, I didn’t push. I tried to understand that you needed more time in that area.”

She’d bungled things, she realized. She’d bungled it and hurt him unnecessarily out of her inability to find the right words. Even now, she fumbled with them. “Alan, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It wasn’t a matter of time. It was—”

“I’ve circled around this incomprehensible snit of yours,” he continued, fired up enough to give her a quick shake. “I’ve given you more room than anyone could expect, believing you wanted a bit more freedom before we settled down and married. Now it’s computer games? Games? And cabins in the woods?”

“Yes, it is. Alan—”