‘Yes. What is it?’

‘It’s me. I’m sorry I was a beast.’

‘Oh darling, so am I. Sorry I was one, I mean. It’s all right,’ and they kissed and forgave one another.

CHAPTER XVII

During June Uncle Preston was disturbed by a number of incidents which agitated the Garden family and which he had to put right, but he found time to suspect that all was not as it should be at the cottage.

He suspected that Things Went On there. There were cocktails, he suspected, and what he vaguely but disapprovingly thought of as Jazz. He did not know that cocktails cost too much for the cottage to make a habit of buying them. Like the editors of newspapers he had only to mutter ‘Cocktails’ to himself to see an awful symbol, an alcoholic Scarlet Woman whose number was 666, instead of a joyless and nasty drink which costs from 1/6 to 3/- a small glass.

Dissipation was only what he had expected from poor Hartley’s children. Still, it distressed him. Sooner or later he would have to Speak to the children about these goings-on; when he had put matters straight between Maxine and Grace, who had had a dreadful row about Miss Van Veek.

Miss Van Veek had had a good innings; she had been Aunt Maxine’s bosom friend for six months. She had shared Aunt Maxine’s flat and the attentions of her latest horrid cat, who was named Juley; she had been driven with Aunt Maxine by numerous red, hard, prosperous men down to Brighton and out to roadhouses and to Maidenhead and the Hog’s Back, roaring, and stopping at pubs on the way, and returning to play bridge in the evenings. Aunt Maxine had taken her to theatres and to cinemas, to lunches and teas.

And how did she repay all this kindness? She stole the venal affections of Juley (who rushed to welcome her whenever she appeared, and ignored Aunt Maxine, except at meal times, in her absence) and she criticized Aunt Maxine at great length and in detail to Grace, to whom Aunt Maxine had introduced her and with whom she saw fit to go secretly to tea one wet Saturday afternoon.

Of course Aunt Grace thought it her duty to warn Aunt Maxine against Miss Van Veek, and Aunt Maxine, in the course of two telephone conversations, which lasted respectively fifteen and twenty-seven minutes, had it out with her sister-in-law and her friend. Up and down the flat she tramped, kicking at tuffets, swearing, scattering ash all over the carpet and terrifying Juley, who hid under the sofa pretending that she was out; and casting Miss Van Veek from her bosom.

Uncle Preston heard all about this, even down to the treachery of Juley, from Auntie Loo, who happened to be lunching with Aunt Grace when Aunt Maxine telephoned. Auntie Loo did not want to tell him, but she knew that if she did not, Aunt Maxine would, so she got in first with her version, which put both parties in the light of silly women with not enough to do.