Sophia, looking apprehensively at the paper, had few doubts about that. An expression of spiteful triumph had replaced the sullen rage on Aunt Maxine’s face and one of long-suffering wisdom adorned Aunt Grace’s; evidently they had been doing their duty.

‘Looks, 17 …’ began Sophia faintly.

Uncle Preston started as though stung. A bitter smile passed over his face. He glanced sharply at Aunt Maxine, but she was staring at the mantelpiece; Aunt Grace was staring at her toes.

‘The total, I think you said, is sixty?’ asked Uncle Preston.

‘Yes, Uncle Preston.’

‘And I have been awarded seventeen marks for Looks out of a total of sixty.’

‘Yes, Uncle Preston.’

‘May I ask you to read out the details of the total?’

‘6 – 5 – 1 – 2 – 1 – 2,’ said Sophia dutifully, not daring to look up.

‘That is very curious, Sophia. Very strange indeed. I am not usually spoken of as an ugly man. Of course, I do not pretend to be an Adonis, heh! nor even a film star, heh! heh! But I certainly should not describe myself as ugly. Well, well, go on.’

‘Greed,’ went on his niece, even more faintly, ‘53.’

There was a frightful pause.

‘May I ask you to repeat the total?’ asked Uncle Preston, with a politeness more terrible than any wrath.

‘Fifty-three, Uncle Preston.’

‘Out of a total of sixty marks?’

‘Yes, Uncle Preston, I’m afraid so.’

‘And how,’ demanded Uncle Preston, swelling, ‘and how is the total made up?’

‘10 – 10 – 8 – 10 – 7 – 8.’

‘So three of the persons present gave me ten marks for Greed. And one gave me seven, which is perhaps worse. I put those three tens down to malice. Ignorant, blind malice. But the seven … no, there was cunning behind that blow.’

‘That was me, dear, who gave you seven,’ said Auntie Loo, pulling out the scallops of her crochet. ‘You are rather greedy sometimes, you know. Especially with treacle tart and roast pork and any kind of cake. Now aren’t you?’

Uncle Preston did not reply, but motioned to Sophia to continue. Everyone felt that the sooner the end of his paper was reached, the better, and Sophia hastened on—

‘Sex Appeal – 9.’

‘Oh well, that is a joke, of course,’ said Uncle Preston, laughing heartily with a most disagreeable effect. ‘I hope I can appreciate a joke as well as anyone. And how is that total made up?’

‘6 – 3 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0.’

‘And what hand did you have in that, Looie, since you seem to know your own mind so well when it comes to estimating my character?’

‘I gave you the six, dear. You were very attractive as a young man, you know,’ quietly replied Auntie Loo. And she looked affectionately across at him with her kind eyes; Sophia, who had not been able to bring herself to give Uncle Preston more than three, while Francis ruthlessly gave him 0, wondered how she could.