Chapters (48)
- COVER
- COPYRIGHT
- DEDICATION
- MAP
- CHAPTER TWO
- LALITA
- CHAPTER THREE
- CHAPTER FOUR
- CHAPTER FIVE
- CHAPTER SIX
- CHAPTER SEVEN
- CHAPTER EIGHT
- CHAPTER NINE
- RAHIMA
- CHAPTER TEN
- CHAPTER ELEVEN
- CHAPTER TWELVE
- CHAPTER THIRTEEN
- CHAPTER FOURTEEN
- KAMAL
- CHAPTER FIFTEEN
- CHAPTER SIXTEEN
- CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
- CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
- CHAPTER NINETEEN
- CHAPTER TWENTY
- CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
- CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
- CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
- CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
- CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
- CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
- CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
- CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
- CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
- LALITA
- CHAPTER THIRTY
- CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
- CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
- CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
- CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- EXTRAS
- MEET THE AUTHOR
- INTERVIEW
- A PREVIEW OF REALM OF ASH
- A PREVIEW OF TORN
- ORBIT NEWSLETTER
Mehr felt a pang in her chest. “No. I can’t. I have to stay. I have to perform the rite again,” she explained. “Every storm. The Gods’ fury won’t be so easily quelled, and the balance will take a long time to be restored. I need to maintain the peace. I’m the only one who can.”
“You’re not the only one.”
“Perhaps one day I’ll teach other Amrithi with the gift,” she said, shrugging, looking carefully down at her hands so she wouldn’t need to meet his eyes. She would need to. One day. “But who would learn now? There are so few of us left, and it’s an anathema act. Still, there will be time enough, I expect. I’m young yet.”
“Mehr.” Amun’s voice was sharp. Mehr looked at him. “Don’t pretend you misunderstand me. I can take up the burden. I’ve performed the rite all my life.”
“No, Amun,” Mehr said softly. “I would never ask that of you.”
“I’m a free man now,” Amun said. “It would be my choice.”
His gaze was so steady, so clear. Mehr forced herself not to look away.
“You’ve sacrificed enough for me, Amun.”
“My choice,” he repeated. “Don’t you consider choices sacred, Mehr?”
“Ah, Gods.” She squeezed her eyes shut. Opened them. “You’ve been trapped in the heart of a nightmare since you were nothing but a child. And now you’re free. Don’t you see, Amun? The thought of you staying in this place, forcing yourself to perform the rite for my sake …” She paused, struggling to speak through her feelings. “Amun,” she whispered finally. “It would shatter me.”
Mehr stood abruptly. She didn’t want to hear his protests. “You need more water,” she said, “and more food.”
She searched through the supplies they’d scavenged earlier. The mystics had taken almost everything when they’d fled, but there had been water and a little food left. Enough to last them a few weeks. She poured some water into their cups, then carefully peeled spiked fruit and carried it over to him. By the time she returned to him, she’d found some of the words she needed.
“If you had a choice, if it weren’t for me,” she said, “would you perform the rites—any of them—ever again? Would you set foot in this temple? Or would you go somewhere else, far away from here, and begin again?”
When he was silent, she said, “I thought so.”
“Mehr,” he said sharply. “We’re vowed to each other. Does that mean nothing?”
Mehr’s stomach plummeted. “Oh.”
Amun straightened. “No. You don’t understand—”
“I understand perfectly,” she said, cutting in. “I never, ever wanted our vows to chain you. I didn’t make those vows to trap you in a new cage.”
“Mehr, no.”