To think, only hours ago she had been longing for the journey through the desert to end. She’d hungered for shelter and water and a clean place to sleep. Now she had everything she’d desired, and she wanted nothing more than to return to the desert again. The journey had been hard, facing the Maha’s terrible, cutting kindness was infinitely harder.

Amun was silent behind her, but she could hear him breathe, slow and even, and that sound alone was enough to make her head hurt with anger.

“You should have told me,” she said, and knew her anger had leaked into her voice, colored it like blood in water. “You should have told me what the Maha—is.”

“I apologize.”

Mehr was glad for the air against her face. She wished it were cooler. She felt like the Maha was still there, still with her, his presence a hot brand under her skin. She’d almost forgotten the mark of her vow during her journey through the desert. She wouldn’t forget it again.

“Why do you serve him? Why would you …?” She stopped. Took one deep breath. Another. “I want to ask you why you made vows to him, Amun, but I believe I know the answer.” She remembered the Maha’s gaze, the softness of his voice, the way Kalini’s eyes had closed when he’d pressed his mouth to her forehead. “If he had wanted to make me love him, I think he could have.” She turned to face Amun, still gripping the window with her hands as if it could make her steady and strong. “But he didn’t want me to love him. He wanted me to be afraid. Didn’t he?”

The light illuminated the bareness of the room. The sight was a bitter contrast to Mehr’s old, lavish quarters. There was a bed and a trunk for clothing. A single oil lamp hung on a hook by the door. There was nothing else. Just Amun, standing still and watching her with dark eyes.

“He did the same to me,” Amun said. “When I first began my service, the day after I took my first vow. He showed me what the mark could make me do. He taught me to fear.” Deep breath in. Deep breath out. “He didn’t lie to you. Fear is the first step toward awe. Toward worship.”

“I don’t want to worship him.” Her fingers hurt from how hard she was gripping the window.

“He isn’t easily denied.” Amun’s voice was implacable. “The Maha wanted your fear, and now he has it. He wants your awe, and he will have that too. You won’t deny him that, Mehr, because as long as he gets what he wants, he won’t look beyond the surface and see what he does not have: your sealed vow.”