It was then that a moment of clarity came over me. From the moment I’d learned the truth, I had fought with the feeling of loss for a normal life, but without Jared, that life wouldn’t have as much meaning. Sure, I was an individual. I was a strong person. I didn’t need someone else to complete me, but I was happier with Jared than without him. More than happy. Why settle to prove that I was free? I was, with and without him. Being with him was a choice—a choice to love and be loved and exist in an affirmative state with someone. Even with the chaos going on around us, it was more than I could have hoped for. More than most hoped for. His love was the purest example of anything a human could feel for another. The more I weighed the options in my head, the less appealing Normal became. It was downright insulting to compare the two. Suddenly I couldn’t remember why I had missed it in the first place, and scolded myself for ever letting Jared feel that I was anything but grateful for every moment he was in my life.

“How are you feeling, love?” Jared said from behind, bringing a tall glass of ice water.

“As if you have to ask. I feel really good. It seems like every day I feel better and better. Is that normal? Aren’t I supposed to feel sick, or tired, or both?”

“Not necessarily. What is normal when you’re carrying our child?” Jared said, taking a seat beside me.

We watched the surf together. The storm from the night before had raged until the early hours of the morning…and there was a good reason that I knew that for a fact. Jared had kept his promise to take his time. I slept for an hour, maybe two, after the sun breached the horizon before venturing to the beach. The ocean was endless, stretching out until it met the sky. The only way to tell one from the other was the slight difference in shade. I took in a deep breath and leaned against my husband.

“What is it?” Jared said, grazing his lips across a small patch of skin on my forehead.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said closing my eyes. I wanted to focus on the sounds of the waves rushing the beach, and the way the breeze blew my hair forward. If it were possible to block the frightening thoughts from my head, I would have. I wanted to pretend that the truths I had come across in recent years weren’t real. But they were, and inconceivable, nightmarish things waited for us at home. Those thoughts made it difficult to relax and enjoy my honeymoon, even with Jared’s tireless reassurance. I had finally accepted my life for what it was, but that didn’t make it less frightening.