“Actually, the traditional term is a ‘surfeit of skunks,’” Dad put in. “I was just talking to Debbie Ann—she’s arranging for the ophthalmologist—and it’s pretty obvious what happened. Mr. Dandridge called her to say that he thought there were intruders in the church—”

“I saw the lights on from my house,” Mr. Dandridge put in. “I live just across the road.”

“And as Debbie Ann was urging him to leave the building and wait for the arrival of a deputy, he began shouting ‘It’s burning! It’s burning!’ Which was a perfectly natural reaction to being sprayed in the eyes by a skunk.”

“Skunks,” Mr. Dandridge corrected. “Could be dozens of them.”

“And of course Debbie Ann made the logical assumption that he was talking about the church,” Dad concluded.

The chiefs looked mollified.

“I’ve sent in two of my men wearing SCBAs to check out the church thoroughly, to make sure there’s definitely no fire and no other hazards,” Chief Featherstone said.

“SCBAs?” Chief Burke repeated.

“Self-contained breathing apparatus. I can lend you some if you want your men to investigate.”

“Thanks,” Chief Burke said. “I’d appreciate the gear—I plan to go in myself. I’m pretty familiar with the layout of the church.”

“I told my men to stay away from the choir loft as much as possible,” Chief Featherstone said. “At least until Eli Slattery from animal control gets here to remove the skunks.”

“Did he say how soon he’d get here?” Chief Burke asked.

“No idea.” The fire chief was frowning. “I left a message on his voice mail.”

“Eli’s a sound sleeper,” one of the firefighters put in.

Chief Featherstone’s frown deepened.

“Chief,” another firefighter said. “We could just call Osgood Shiffley down at the service station. He’s open all night, and only a few blocks from Eli’s house. He could probably pop over and pound on Eli’s door.”

Chief Featherstone blinked in surprise. He had retired after twenty years in a big-city fire department and moved to Caerphilly to take over leadership of our volunteer force. He was still getting used to life in Caerphilly, and looked as if he wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or horrified by this kind of small-town solution to the problem.

“Let’s give Eli a chance to respond,” he said finally. “But I’ll keep the idea in mind if the delay becomes too inconvenient.”

“Maybe someone should just try to take the skunks out,” one of the firefighters said. “I always heard that after they spray they can’t do it again immediately.”

“Not what I’ve heard,” another firefighter said.