I’m remembering, then, something Prince Oran said to Blackthorn, after he’d told us the story. He said if he told anyone they’d say it was a fancy. Only in my mind, that was what he said. And I’m doing some guessing myself. He’s told his friend, and his friend doesn’t like what he hears, and now that friend has decided to take himself off after years and years of loyal service. Can’t be just the prince getting married; everyone must have known that would happen someday. What could be big enough to turn them cold toward each other? Could Donagan be one of those fellows that likes other men? Is he jealous of Lady Flidais?

I’m staring at him with my mouth open like a half-wit. I turn it into a yawn.

‘Do you have bad dreams every night?’ Donagan asks.

‘Been restless, have I? Sorry. Don’t want to disturb anyone.’ It’s not dreams. Doubt if I’ve dropped off more than a moment or two at a time, these last three nights.

‘You do thrash around and talk in your sleep.’

Thought I’d been doing a good job of keeping the words in. And lying as still as I could. Seems not. Have I been falling asleep without knowing? Maybe I can’t tell the difference anymore, sleep, wake, in between. Morrigan’s curse. Don’t know what to say to him.

‘I could arrange for you to sleep somewhere else,’ he goes on. ‘If you prefer. Close by, but not in with all of them.’

Yes fights to get out. I shove it back. ‘I need to be with the others.’

Donagan gives me a sharp look. ‘Not by night, surely.’

He knows why we’re here. Must do. ‘Well, no, but . . .’ How can I say I need Blackthorn, or at least a lamp or a fire? How can I tell him I’d be better out of doors than in the men’s quarters, even when it’s pouring wet and cold enough to freeze a man’s bollocks off? ‘More used to life on the road,’ I say. ‘Sorry.’

‘No need for apologies. And certainly not to me. Let me think about this, talk to a couple of people. I might have an answer for you before tomorrow night.’

This bothers me. Any sort of special treatment’s going to get folk talking, and that’s just what Blackthorn doesn’t want. ‘Might be best to leave it,’ I say, hearing the growl in my voice that’s not for Donagan, only for stupid Bonehead who can’t keep himself under control.

‘Why’s that?’

I shrug. ‘I can get by.’

Look on his face says he knows that’s a lie. Truth is, if we leave it I’ll be in trouble very soon. ‘Don’t want the whole place knowing about this,’ I tell him.