‘I doubt if Aunt Sochla will be wanting a long ride, so Lady Flidais should bring one of her attendants. And you will come too, of course. Please put the usual arrangements in place.’ Gods, this was hard! What was the man doing, that he stood there gazing at me as if I were a stranger, and one that he did not especially care for at that? I swallowed the urge to blurt out what was in my heart – that he was the nearest thing I had ever had to a brother, and that a man needed the support of his brother when he was lonely and confused.

‘Yes, my lord.’ A pause. ‘My lord, Lady Flidais may prefer that I stay behind.’

That sent a strange chill down my spine. ‘What do you mean?’

‘That is for Lady Flidais to say, my lord.’ Donagan’s tone was oddly flat.

‘Donagan. You always come with me. What possible reason could Lady Flidais have to object to that?’ Even if a reason existed, it was not up to Flidais to make the decision.

‘As you say, my lord. I will deliver the message.’

I had expected him to return with Flidais’s reply, but he did not. I changed into my riding clothes unassisted, waited awhile for Donagan, then from my window spotted Eochu bringing a string of horses down from the stable: Snow for me, Apple for Flidais, a mare for her maidservant and a couple of mounts for men-at-arms. No Star and no Donagan, though as I watched, Flidais came out of the house clad for riding, with Mhairi by her side.

I went down, and we waited, and still Donagan did not appear. Eventually I sent one of the men to look for him. The fellow returned alone.

‘My lord, Donagan sends his apologies. Some kind of crisis in the house that requires his immediate attention.’

‘What crisis? Should I be concerned?’

‘He said not, my lord. Only asked if you wanted someone else to accompany you in his place.’

It sounded like a trumped-up excuse not to come. As for taking a substitute, there was nobody else who could do what Donagan did for me. The duties of a body servant, maybe, but not the wise counsel, the honest talk, the friendship. What had got into him? Could he really have been so shocked by what had occurred between Flidais and me – I had little doubt he had heard us, that first night – that I had lost his trust entirely?

‘Never mind that. We’ll ride on as we are.’

We headed out, Flidais and I side by side, Mhairi a length behind, the guards flanking us.