He hadn’t answered her. She was looking down at her hands. She spoke as if the words were teeth she were spitting out. “I’m sorry I dragged you along on this, Sedric. I’m sorry I ran off to help the dragons that day and wouldn’t listen to what you had to say. You’re a friend; you’ve been my friend for a very long time. Now you’re ill and we’re so far from any real healers.” She halted for a moment, and he could tell she was trying to hold back tears. Strange, how little he cared about that. Perhaps if she knew the real danger he faced and was moved by it, he would feel more sympathy for how she struggled with her guilt.

“I’ve talked to Leftrin and he says it’s not too late. He said that even though we’ve traveled farther upriver, he thinks Carson could still take one of the smaller boats and get us safely back to Cassarick before autumn closes in. It wouldn’t be easy, and we’d be camping out along the way. But I’ve persuaded him.” She paused, choking on emotion, and then went on in a voice so tight that her words almost squeaked. “If you want me to take you back, I’ll do it. We’ll leave today if you say so.”

If he said so.

It was too late now. Too late even on that morning when he’d demanded she go back with him, though he hadn’t known it then. “Too late.” He hadn’t realized he’d whispered the words until he saw her reaction.

“Sa’s mercy, Sedric. Are you that ill?”

“No.” He spoke quickly to stop her words. He truly had no idea how ill he was, or if “ill” was a way to describe it. “No, nothing like that, Alise. I only mean it’s too late for us to attempt to make our way back to Cassarick in one of the small boats. Davvie has warned me, numerous times, that the autumn rains will soon be falling, and that when they start to come down, our journey upstream is going to be more difficult. Perhaps then Captain Leftrin will recognize how foolish our mission is and turn back with the barge. In any case, I don’t wish to be in a small boat on a torrential river with rain pouring down all around us. Not my idea of camping weather.”

He’d almost managed to find his normal tone and voice. Maybe if he seemed normal, she’d go away. “I’m very tired, if you don’t mind,” he said abruptly.