Don’t think about what he was about to do. Don’t let the dragon pick up on his thoughts and thwart him. Even warning himself brought her attention back to him. He wanted to say good-bye to her, to tell her it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t. She’d done her best by him, saved him time after time. He felt a surprisingly sharp pang of sorrow at the thought of hurting her. He had an impulse to take off his boots and jacket. How silly was that? What difference could it make?

Sedric? Sedric?

Not right now, dear.

You are scared? Something hunts you, something comes to hurt you?

No. No, I’m fine. Everything is going to be all right.

No, you are frightened. Sad. Something is bad.

As gently as he could, he pushed her away from his thoughts. No time to waste. He could feel her clamoring outside his walls, raising an alarm with herself. Time to get it done before she could puzzle out what he was up to. He studied the water off the stern of the barge and chose a place where he could see the current running. He climbed up on the aft railing and judged the shining black water below him. Would it be deep enough and swift enough? It wouldn’t take much. He’d never been a swimmer. Jump. Just jump and don’t struggle. That was all. He deliberately exhaled, crouched, and sprang.

He hit hard, slamming on his side. His head slapped something that burst into light. He thought he’d breathed out, but a weight on top of him forced a gasp from his lungs. No water. Nothing made sense…“Can’t…breathe…” he wheezed out.

The weight rolled off him. Sedric sucked in a breath, and for a dazed minute could not make sense of where he was or what had just happened. His eyes focused. He lay face-to-face with the hunter, Carson, on the Tarman’s deck.

“I knew you’d try something,” Carson panted by his ear. “Saw it in your eyes when you left the galley earlier today. I told your dragon to let me know if she was worried. And she did.” Carson dragged in a breath. “I had to run all the way up from the bonfire. You’re lucky I got here in time.”

Sedric’s body was demanding air, and all he could do was wheeze. Funny. He wanted so badly to die, but when his body wanted air, it didn’t care what his intentions were. All his thoughts stopped until he had air. When he’d had three full breaths, he asked bitterly, “Lucky?”

“Very well, then. I’m lucky. I caught you in time. I didn’t have to get wet coming after you.” Carson was smiling, very slightly. His dark eyes studied Sedric’s face. “Why were you trying to drown yourself?”